A Drink Called Loneliness
by AmazingGraceless
Summary: "Let's pretend that we never met. That I was a completely different man buying a completely different beautiful young woman a drink. Which one do you want?" Kylo Ren and Rey meet in a bar after the events of 7. Reylo, mentions of the EU. VERY AU. First two chapters written before The Force Awakens.
1. We've Got Tonight

**AN: This is sometime after Episode 7, on an unknown planet. The song is "We've Got Tonight" by Bob Seger. This is another Reylo fic, where they ARE NOT related. In this one, however, Rey is Luke's kid. This is all pure fun and speculation. Possible spoilers ahead.**

* * *

 _I know it's late, I know you're weary_

 _I know your plans don't include me_

 _Still here we are, both of us lonely_

 _Longing for shelter from all that we see_

Rey twirled the pretty glass in her fingers. To be honest, this was her first time drinking, especially since they didn't exactly have that on Jakku. Still, she just wanted to get away from the Resistance for a few hours.

It wasn't that she actively disliked them, it was just that she was a solitary, introspective person. If she hang around the canteen in the rebel base, she'd have to pour her soul out to some X-wing pilot that she'd only spot around the base once or twice per month and get embarrassed by even that.

Here, in the late hours of the city, no one cared. No one asked questions, although the staff on her back and the DL-44 probably helped with that. She kept her sand-colored hood up, goggles on, concealing enough of her face that the authorities would most likely not find her. Besides, this was a bar for thugs and scum, being on the lower levels. Not a place that Imperials would frequent.

She looked down at her glass, trying to decide if she wanted another or if she should wait off this one, and then take the long landspeeder ride back to the base, but she decided that she wasn't quite ready for that.

"Hey, pretty thing, want a drink?"

Rey looked around, but she was definitely the only woman in the bar. To be honest, she found herself to be a rather "plain thing" but hey, she'd take any compliment she could get.

She turned to see who the mysterious complimented was. _Damn_.

It was a maskless Kylo Ren. She knew that that voice sounded familiar! _Sithspit! Sithspit! Sithspit!_

Her hand discreetly reached for the blaster on her belt.

"Why don't you take off those goggles?" He asked.

"I'd rather not," she said in a horrible imitation of the Imperial accent.

"Skywalker?"

Well, it was all over anyways, so she pulled the goggles down, and there was awkward silence between the two enemies.

"Never thought I'd find you in a lower-level bar," Rey finally said.

"Same," Kylo agreed, and they dipped back into silence as Rey stared down at her glass. "I did say I'd buy you a drink, didn't I?" He signaled the bartender with an expert hand.

"So you're just going to let this slide?" Rey asked, raising her eyebrows. Was this just an alcohol-induced hallucination or dream?

He shrugged. "Let's pretend that we never met. That I was a completely different man buying a completely different beautiful young woman a drink. Which one do you want?"

Rey stared at the Aubresh letters of the menu, having trouble making sense of them with her swirling thoughts. This was so surreal, _Kylo Ren_ asking _her_ which drink she preferred.

"Um. . ."

"You don't have much experience, do you?" He asked, sounding amused.

"And you do?" She shot back.

"Yes, Kyp Durron frequents this bar," he said with a smirk. "Try the Sweetfruit Shake, I promise it's good."

"Um, sure." This was a totally new reality for Rey, and she wasn't entirely sure of the rules to this one.

"Two Sweetfruit Shakes," Kylo ordered.

 _Why should we worry, no one will care girl_

 _Look at the stars so far away_

 _We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow?_

 _We've got tonight babe_

 _Why don' you stay?_

He looked back over to her. "So what do I call you, then?"

Rey smiled a little, remembering the little game of their new reality that they were different people. Sounds reached out from across a universe of echoes, a name from some legend.

"Jaina Fel," she said.

He nodded, with a wider smile. "So what's got you here?"

"On planet?" She asked, confused.

"No, here," he amended. "We're both here for classified reasons."

"I'm sure Kyp Durron isn't," Rey teased.

"True, but I'm sure you want to go first, don't you, Fel?" He teased back.

"Sure," Rey considered. "I'm here because. . . I'm a TIE pilot, and I've been stationed here."

"You're boring," Kylo whined.

"Then let's see you do better," she challenged.

"I will," he said as he cracked his knuckles. "I'm a TIE pilot as well, but I lead a squadron, or I did before we all crashed on this Force-forsaken planet, and I'm the only survivor."

The drinks had then arrived, so he casually grabbed one and sipped at it and simultaneously passed one to Rey.

"Thanks," she said as she nodded, impressed. Who was this charming young man who had taken Kylo Ren's place in the universe? _Kyp Durron_ , she thought wryly, which translated to a wider smile on her face.

He smiled back. "But anyways, what are you doing in this bar? For real."

Rey blushed and looked down at the glass. He apparently did know his cocktails.

"I just wanted to be by myself for a while," she admitted.

"I know that feeling," he replied, staring at her in a way that made her feel weird, like she was walking the edge of a cliff, thrilling with an air of danger on her mind at every moment.

"So, why are you here?" She asked.

He hesitated. "I can be myself here. No one in the Order really cares. Nothing I shed tears over, but it is sometimes satisfying to go out, talk to people, particularly women."

"They don't have an Imperial matchmaking program?" Rey asked.

He laughed, a strange sound to Rey. "The last time I tried that, I had to go on a date with _Phasma_. General Hux never let me hear the end of it. Most of the stormtroopers go out into the bars anyway."

"I certainly hope that I'm better company than Captain Phasma," Rey said with a wince at the name. She set her glass back down.

"Of course you are, it's no competition. You're a damn sight prettier too, and I've seen Phasma without the helmet," he said without any hesitation.

Rey blushed. "Why are you being nice to me?"

"Besides the fact that I'm Kyp Durron and you're Jaina Fel?" He asked teasingly.

"That you're even letting that happen instead of spearing me with your tri-saber," she elaborated.

It was his turn to stare down at his glass, with a little pink to his otherwise pale face.

"I admire you. . . Jaina," he said, hastily remembering the pseudonym. "I think you've got many qualities worthy of admiration, and excuse me if I'd rather try to actually know you than just cut you down. You fascinate me too much for that."

"Happy that I'm just another person's source of entertainment," she replied dryly.

 _Deep in my soul, I've been so lonely_

 _All of my hopes, fading away_

 _I've longed for love, like everyone else does_

 _I know I'll keep searching, even after today_

"You misunderstand me," he said quickly. "I don't wish to offend you. I just mean that you're. . . Something different than anyone or anything I've ever seen before."

"What do you mean?" Rey asked, intrigued.

"I know you can sense things in the Force, Fel, but have you ever tried to use it to look upon one's inner essence? See what the person in their heart of hearts truly looks like?" He asked.

"I didn't know that I could do that, Kyp," she admitted.

"Well, I tend to do it, as it helps me get a better insight for a person, and knowledge is power," he said. "I remember the first time I tried to look into your Force signature. I nearly burned my eyes out, you have so much light, and power. Just as much as Vader did, except yours is brimming with the light side. I think the only person who could rival your amount of inner light is your father."

She blushed. "How's that any surprise? People are good, deep down."

"No, Re- Jaina," he corrected himself. "Not everyone is. Most of the people I ally myself with do mean well, but they all have heavy shadows. Finn, I believe, has a little more of the light side than they do, but he struggles with his dark side. Although I'm not one to believe that good equals light and dark equals bad. They are merely conventions."

"There's some truth in it, though," she argued.

Kylo groaned. "If I want to talk about Force philosophy, I'll go have another lightsaber fight, since those tend to brim with discussions about the Force."

Rey found herself snickering at that. "I wonder though. . . What do you look like, in the Force?"

He looked uncomfortable at that. "You tell me."

"How do I do it?" She asked.

"Close your eyes," he said in a low voice. "Attune your senses, and seek me out with the Force.

Rey did, and was surprised at the images in her head, the images of the bar. What shocked her was Kylo's signature in the Force. Easily the darkest in the room, brimming with shadow. Yet. . . She could see a small twinkle, like a star, a star as red as his volatile lightsaber, the only spark of light within him.

When she snapped out of it, there was a sort of sad look on his face.

"That bad, huh?" He asked.

"What?"

"Your face, and I could sense that you-never mind, it's not important," he said, turning away.

Rey had a longing to want to get to know him better. True, this was a one-night thing, but why not make the best of this? The beautiful darkness sitting in front of her intrigued her, and she finally understood what he meant about her being fascinating to him.

 _So there it is girl, I've said it all now_

 _And here we are babe, what do you say?_

 _We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow?_

 _We've got tonight babe_

 _Why don't you stay?_

"What do you like to do?" She found herself asking.

He looked back up at her. "What do you mean?"

"Like, in your free time?" She added.

He considered her for a moment. "Reading, history holos, that sort of thing. I'm not exactly an exciting man. Obsessed with the past and the search for knowledge, that sort of thing." He laughed bitterly before finishing the drink in a gulp. "How about you? How does Miss Jaina Fel spend her free time when she's not off on a crusade in her TIE?"

"I liked looking at the artifacts on Jakku, hearing the old stories," she said with a small blush. "The legends of the Mandalore War and Revan and the Exile. Fixing up my speeder bike, too, but that's long gone."

"To the budding friendship of two kids stuck in the past," Kylo said with a nod, raising the new glass he had ordered.

"Agreed," Rey said. This night _was_ getting weirder by the minute. Who knew that the two of them had anything in common?

"Do you ever wonder. . ." Kylo hesitated. "Romance, getting married someday, things like that?"

"The romance part, occasionally," she admitted. "I don't think I'll live longer enough to get married." She glanced at him. "At least, if your forces have anything to do with it."

He nodded, surprisingly understanding. "Do you have feelings for anyone?"

"Why would I tell you this? After tonight, we go back to being enemies," she reminded him.

"I have feelings for someone," he finally confessed after a long pause. "We might not be Sith, but we do follow the codes and teachings, and we're not supposed to love. Love is a weakness."

"Who's the unlucky girl then?" Rey asked irritably.

He just stared at her as if she'd punched him in the stomach, hard enough to make him start crying.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" She asked. He kept staring. "You're joking, right? _Me_?"

"I did say you had many qualities worth admiring," he said quietly, and he grabbed his cloak off of the back of his chair, and hesitated for a moment. "I should've known though, that I'm not good enough for you. I guess I'll see you around, Rey."

He started to get up, when Rey found herself grabbing the Knight of Ren by the arm, and forcing him to turn around and faced her. He stared down at her, heartbroken and irritated.

 _I know it's late, I know you're weary_

 _I know your plans don't include me_

 _Still here we are, both of us lonely_

 _Both of us lonely_

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," she found herself saying. His aristocratic features softened significantly. The effect she had on him was amazing, really. She didn't know exactly what she was feeling, but she could describe it as being drawn to his darkness, as he was to her light.

He looked to the door, and then to her.

"I'll pay the tab," she offered as she stuck her free hand in the pouch that held cash in it. His hand closed around her wrist.

"I said that I'd pay for it, and I will," he said with a sigh.

"Can I at least chip in?" She asked.

"Sure," he sighed, and he walked back over to the bar. The two young adults put up an amount of cash to fill the bill, and found themselves walking outside in the holo-lit streets.

"I-" Rey hesitated. "I could have feelings for you. Maybe. If we weren't on different sides, it'd be easier to know but-"

"But that's not happening," he interrupted. "We're more alike than you might think, Re- Jaina, I mean."

"Besides the fact that we're history nerds?" Rey asked.

"Yeah, we're both solitary, anti-social people, or at least, we seem that way since we know a drink called loneliness that we seem to be addicted to more than normal people are," he explained.

"You get lonely too?" She was shocked.

"Well, of course I do! I have feelings, for Force's sake, Rey!" He said, and then turned away, breathing deeply in and out.

"I never said you didn't," she said in a calm voice.

There was a silence as he finally gathered up the courage to look at her. "I'll admit, I haven't been a good man, Rey, but if I could just know you, for one night. . . Well, that's more than I deserve."

There was a stare, her warm brown eyes focused on his. He wasn't surprised by much, yet the kiss was something that still surprised him.

We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow?

 _Let's make it last, let's find a way_

 _Turn out the light, come take my hand now_

 _We've got tonight babe_

 _Why don't you stay?_

 _Why don't you stay?_

It was early in the morning when the two parted ways, Rey with a smile on her face. When Leia saw her stumble into the base, she hurried over to her niece.

"Where have you been?" She demanded.

"Oh, associating with some of the wonderful people in this city," she said airily.

"At three in the morning?" Leia raised an eyebrow. "Kira Rey Skywalker, you could've jeopardized the entire base! What were you thinking?" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Please tell me you didn't meet anyone."

Rey turned bright red.

"Who?" Leia groaned.

"A TIE-fighter pilot by the name of Kyp Durron. Lost his entire fleet and crashed here," she said with a mischievous smile playing at the edge of her lips. "Quite a charming man. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to-"

"No, you've got to stay up for scouting duty, young lady."

Rey groaned.


	2. Piano Man

"Why couldn't I have gone by myself?" Rey groaned.

"Because, I don't trust you after last time," Leia snapped. "Besides, it's not like you have anything to hide, right?"

Rey wisely didn't answer that. She returned to this bar in particular in hopes of finding Kylo again. He did claim to frequent the place, and she wanted another encounter, as insane as it was. Maybe this was putting too much stake on her luck and his obvious affection towards her, but she didn't care, quite frankly.

"Jaina!"

Rey whipped to see the table that Kylo was sitting at, with two other chairs, as luck would have it.

"Kyp," she said gratefully, and she started off to the table, Leia following her much to her regret.

"Nice to see you again, Miss Fel," he said, the smile that she loved spreading across his face like ice melting. "Who is this?"

His eyes were asking-no, demanding why she had brought _Leia Organa-Solo_ , leader of the Resistance.

"This is my aunt, _Mara Jade_ ," she said with a gesture as Leia sat down, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation. "Auntie, this is _Kyp Durron._ "

"Pleasure," Leia said with all the regalities of a queen as she shook Kylo's hand.

"Pleasure is all mine, meeting the young man that R- Jaina mentioned," Leia amended hastily.

"She has, has she?" He asked, quirking his eyebrows in her direction.

"I only told her that you were Kyp Durron and that you were a charming TIE pilot," Rey explained quickly. He nodded and smirked, getting her message.

"Would you two ladies like me to order you drinks?" He asked.

"No thank you," Leia said icily. "My niece shouldn't drink so much."

Rey glared at Leia, and back at Kylo.

"What do you recommend?" She asked in blatant rebellion.

He liked this Rey, giving into that small shadow just a little more. Running around with shadows could be fun.

"Dark Side Daiquiris are good," he said. "Worth a try, Lady Jaina?"

"If you say so," she said with a good-natured shrug.

Drinks were ordered, and Leia was horrified to watch her niece get buzzed.

"So, Kyp, you're a TIE-fighter pilot, is that right?" She asked, deciding to at least dig a little.

"Yes," he said, snapping to attention, no longer relaxed at all. He was quite aware of the fact that this was an interrogation, even if the interrogator wasn't really aware of the whole stakes, and should she find out, this would be a mess.

"Interesting," she said. "Yet you lost your squadron?"

"We were going against the Black Squadron," he said distastefully, but with an undertone of begrudging respect. "Poe Dameron is a good pilot."

"So I've heard," Leia said, noticing as her niece's hand crept towards the young man's still one on the tabletop. She then noticed something funny on his belt. "What is that?"

"Oh, this?" Kylo's heart was racing as he gestured towards his lightsaber. "It's a hydrospanner. From my TIE. All that I have left of it."

"May I look at it?" Leia asked. She knew something was up, and Rey was in on it. Well, she wasn't having it. If that "hydrospanner" was what she though it was, they were all in big trouble.

"Um, no," he said, as he clutched the hilt possessively. These were not normal questions! Then again, normal doesn't exactly apply when your secret girlfriend is a Jedi, and a Skywalker to boot.

"Aunt Mara, you really don't want to see it, it's actually a piece of junk," Rey said.

Kylo kicked her under the table, and she playfully kicked him back.

"And you know how?" Leia demanded, raising her eyebrows.

Both faces went as red as Kylo's lightsaber, and they shared embarrassed smirks. Leia's eyes widened, and she closed her eyes, driving some. . . _Images_ out of her head.

"You wouldn't mind letting me look at it? Since you have nothing to hide?"

Kylo reluctantly handed it over, and while Leia examined it, he turned to Rey, taking her hands.

"Why did you come back?" He asked in a low voice.

"I wanted to see you," she said, her voice enthusiastic and her eyes bright. "I care about you Ky- Kyp, I care an awful lot."

"I wanted to see you, but I didn't know if you hated me or-" Kylo was interrupted by her sweet lips coming to his. They tasted like some exotic fruit he could not name. The fact that Leia was there had escaped their minds, and they had long forgotten about the "hydrospanner" as they kissed, his hands slinking lower and lower until they were tugging at the edges of her tunic, and her hands were running up and down his back.

 _Vroom_.

The couple broke apart as screams pierced the air. Leia held the tri-saber with a ruthless fury in her eyes. Criminal patrons ran out of the bar, and even the merely shady ones fled at the idea that there was an Imperial with a lightsaber here. Particularly because they had heard the stories of Kylo Ren, and his famous cross-shaped lightsaber.

"Have something you want to tell me, _Rey_?" Leia demanded as she turned the lightsaber over in her hands. "What were you thinking, _Kylo Ren_?"

Kylo flinched at the rebel leader saying his name. He was ready to take it back, except that if the legends were true, she had the power too. He was for once fully prepared to die, although this was not how he expected to go out. What surprised him, though, was Rey stepping in front of him, shielding him, he realized with a pang in his heart.

"You'd better have a good explanation as to why I shouldn't strike him down right now young lady!" Leia snapped, brandishing the lightsaber with a self-righteous anger. She could end some of the biggest problems of the Resistance right here by striking him down. It was all she had to do. If it weren't for her naive niece in the way.

"I love him, Aunt Leia," Rey said, her light shining in those eyes. Kylo found himself appreciating once again her selfless, kind nature, full of the light. Never had he dreamed that it would be directed towards him.

"You've only been with him for a few days, according to you. He's your enemy, Rey," she said, holding the lightsaber in both hands as the fire illuminated her determined face. "Choose wisely. If it goes badly, who knows how vengeful he'll get."

He choked up, visibly. Is that how badly they thought of him? That if he and Rey chose to part ways, he'd kill her? What sort of psycho did they think he was? He didn't like killing, not that he'd mentioned that to Phasma ever. He was justified with his cause, his crusade, that was all.

Rey, turned, sensing the swell of feeling behind the wall of darkness and passion and pure, sweet, unnameable emotion. He looked down to avoid her scrutiny, an old habit. He didn't want to appear weak to anyone, especially her.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, her voice exceedingly gentle. Her fingertips matched this assessment as she wrapped her arms around him into a gentle, sweet, warm hug.

He couldn't really believe it, being held by a woman, and a woman such as Rey, and he held her back. He saw Leia still glaring at him from over her shoulder.

"I'm not a good man, Rey, but I'd never do those things to you," he muttered in her ear. "I care about you too much. You're my only star."

"Aw, that's sweet," she murmured. "I don't know what to say."

Leia found herself lowering her lightsaber. She remembered how it felt when she was young and in love with the lovable rogue, and how she still felt about him. It was clear that the two individuals felt this way as well.

She shut off the lightsaber. "I'll pretend that this isn't happening, Rey. Tell me if you do elope, however." She set the hilt down on the table, and exited with regality in her very frame.

* * *

The next morning, in the dark hotel room, Rey couldn't help but enjoy waking up, and seeing Kylo in a still fogged-up state of mind. Her hand went to his curls, and his arm went unconsciously around her waist, pulling her closer.

She enjoyed watching him wake up, she had discovered. The innocent look on his face, minus the murmuring and the tears that always seemed to come, but it always reverted back to an innocent peace.

Then came the moment between sleep and waking, when those dark eyes would open, glazed over and not so intense and he was soft, whispering words so sweet until he was completely awake, and intense in the eyes with tense muscles instead.

What she didn't know was that he enjoyed watching her sleep. He stayed up later, holding her in complete disbelief. What did he do to deserve such a miracle? He tenderly pushed some of her dark hair out of her face, to see those flickering eyelids that were vividly dreaming, and hearing her breathe, truly breathe, and feeling her relax under his touch, a foreign sensation.

The two kept sharing their drink called loneliness, and found themselves no longer sleeping alone.


	3. Shut Up and Dance With Me

**AN: Due to popular demand, I will continue this. But first, one note I will get out of the way. This was written BEFORE THE MOVIE! This is slightly AU in the relationships (no Ben). Kylo is KYP DURRON, basically. Which works with it somewhat. In the books, Kyppie was a 16-year-old that broke Han and himself out of the Kessel mines that went to the dark side. In this, he isn't Leia's son by birth. He's adopted. I apologize for the inconsistency, but I don't have the original document to go back and fix it with. My apologies. I'll try to retcon the best I can. Now, on with the show! (Sorry this is a bit short)**

* * *

Finn and Poe had decided to go out on a date. They'd even scrounged up enough funds to go to some nice restaurant in upper-level Coruscant. They'd found some suits, were planning on getting out on the dance floor. An overall good time was in mind.

Poe flashed some fake ID at the bouncer at the General's insistence after a rumored incident involving Rey. He and Finn walked over to their table. On the floor, a slow song (Once Upon a Dream) was playing and one couple in an imperial dress uniform and a dress that looked suspiciously like one that the General might've worn in her Alderaanian youth.

They'd ordered drinks and were having a nice chat when the couple on the floor sat at the table right next to theirs. Curious, Finn and Poe both took a glance to see if it was anyone they knew. Both did spit-takes into their elegant glasses when they saw that the man had a scar running diagonally down his face and the three-humped hairstyle of their best friend.

"What's Rey doing with him?" Finn demanded.

"Maybe he's holding her hostage in some weird way?" Poe suggested.

"We've got to help her!" Finn declared, but Poe put a hand over his.

"Skywalker can handle herself just fine," Poe assured him. "She gets really pissed when we get involved. Let's see what she does."

"Kyp!" They turned again to see Rey laugh at something Kylo had said.

"Kyp?" The boys chorused a little too loudly.

Rey and Kylo turned to see the boys.

"What are you doing here?" Rey demanded.

"Dating," Poe said with a shrug.

"What are you doing here?" Finn asked.

"Same as you," Kylo said quickly.

"Aren't you-"

"NO!" The two Force-users screamed, drawing attention to themselves. Finn and Poe recoiled.

"We're not cousins," Rey explained while Kylo took a shot. "He was only adopted by Han Solo. He's not an actual Solo."

"Thanks, Skygirl," Kylo said, tipping his glass in her direction.

"Thank the Force," Poe muttered.

"Now have fun, boys," Rey declared. She grabbed Kylo's hand and pulled him on to the dance floor. A fast song had come up, and Rey'd discovered that Kylo loved the fast ones.

"Shut up and dance with me," she sang along with the loudspeakers teasingly. They danced closer to each other, stomping to the beat and spinning in sync.

"Oh, this woman is my destiny," Kylo added his hands reaching to cup Rey's face. "She said ooh-ooh-"

"Shut up and dance with me," they chorused.

Poe looked back at Finn, a little shocked. Finn just raised his glass.


	4. You're Beautiful

**AN: Friendly reminder for everyone in the back: The first two chapters were written BEFORE the Force Awakens came out, and I DON'T have the original document, so I can't go back and fix the draft. However, I am RETCONNING IT. As for Leia not recognizing Kylo-Han didn't know what is adult son looked like, so I'd take a gander that Leia doesn't either. Thank you for your considerations in this matter.**

* * *

Kylo stomped into the bar looking more unhappy than he usually did. He took a seat by Rey, who had already gotten started on the drinking. In their month of meeting up at grimy undercity bars, she had gotten to be quite the connoisseur of bar drinks and could now take shots like most of the other rogues.

"No shots tonight, Kyppie?" Rey teased.

For once, however, Rey couldn't get Kylo to crack a smile.

"I've got some bad news, Skygirl," he said in a low voice so the other patrons and the bartender in particular couldn't hear him. "The Supreme Leader is calling me away for training of some sort. I must obey."

"Why?" Rey demanded. "I know you, and I know that you're beginning to change-I see the light in you is growing-"

"Well you see, that's the problem," Kylo said. "Snoke senses it too. No doubt that he wants to make sure that I am ready to serve him completely."

"Why can't you just run off, come back home?" Rey asked. "I know you want to, Kyp. Aunt Leia might not have reacted all that well, but I'm sure she'd be happy if you came home."

Kylo stared at the countertop.

"Imagine, Rey, being called an accident by your father-the one who took the baby he found Force-knows-where. Just picture it," he said.

"Why don't you imagine your father leaving you in a desert when you were just a child?" Rey demanded. "I don't want you to go. Only Finn has ever come back for me. I don't want you to be like everyone else in my life. All of them have left at some point. Please don't go."

"I can't, dammit Re-Jaina!" Kylo finally snapped. "I can't get away from him. Ever. He's in my head, no matter what my choice is now."

"If that's that. . ." Rey muttered. "I knew this wouldn't be like this forever. But I want it to last. We should get married."

"If that's what you want, Skygirl," he said hesitantly.

"Do you want to marry me?" Rey asked.

"Of course I do!" Kylo said as he placed his large, gloved hand over her tiny one. "Don't be afraid, I feel it too."

"I'm not afraid, anymore," Rey said, smiling. "I'm a hero with no fear."

Kylo snorted. "Sure, Skygirl."

"Well, why don't we have a cocktail, then go find a place to get married?" she suggested.

"The most excellent idea I've heard all night," he said, and he quickly placed in an order with the bartender.

"And one more thing," Rey said. "I don't want to get married as Ben and Kira."

"Done," Kylo said.

"But I don't want to be married as Kylo and Rey, either," she continued. "I want us to be married as Ben and Kira. Ben and Kira Durron."

"Why?"

"Because names have power," Rey said, remembering an adage the weary woman she saw once in a while but no one else ever seemed to said. "I want us to be married with the names we choose for ourselves."

"The two of us. . . " Kylo murmured. He smiled at Rey. "Of course, Skygirl. Newlyweds Kyp and Jaina we'll be."

"I don't mind that, it's just a. . . Just a thing I have," Rey said, trusting her feelings.

"And that's just fine with me, Jaina," Kylo said.

* * *

It was a quick, drive-through marriage type thing. You got vows, a certificate, and a few holos to remember the whole rush of rosy lights and overdone romantic imagery. Of course, a couple in jackets and/or cloaks hiding in suspicious uniforms barely phased the man who ran the small wedding shop. He had all sorts of Skywalker and Amidala stories to tell.

Still, Rey and Kylo were holding hands and smiling when they walked in, ready to be married-even if it would be only their secret. Secrets and shadows filled their relationship, but they both knew the other wouldn't have it any other way.

"Ready?" Rey asked.

"As I'll ever be," Kylo answered wth a smile.

"Number forty-nine, you're up!"

The couple went up to the counter, and then entered the room that would change their lives. The bored legal representative came in.

"Does the couple have vows?" he asked.

"We do," Rey said.

"You or me first?" Kylo asked.

"You," Rey said. "Dazzle me, Kyp."

"Well, Jaina," Kylo began, "we did not get along when we first met. I believe that may be an understatement. But I'm happy to see how far we've come. If I can be with you for at least as long as my parents were, I'd be the happiest man in the galaxy."

"Kyp," Rey said, not missing a beat, "Oh Kyppie. I'll admit that you're not nearly as bad as I thought, and I can say for certain that I do care about you. I want to see where this goes, for the rest of our lives."

"Well, if we're done," the legal man said. "Sign here, and I pronounce you husband and wife!"

Pre-recorded triumphant music played over the speakers as the two of them signed their papers, signing their fate as Kyp and Jaina Durron.

"You may now kiss the bride," the man then said as he ducked down to grab the cheap gold-painted frame. Rey didn't let Kylo wait to make the move.


	5. Hallelujah

**AN: Trigger warning, character suicide.**

* * *

Rey wasn't sure what she was going to do. She was to go back to her father on Anch-To that day, and if he caught what she'd been up to in the month she'd gone away. . . She shuddered, hoping his reaction wouldn't go much further than Aunt Leia's.

The marriage band on her finger, according to Alderaanian tradition, was a red flag on her finger. Yet, Rey hesitated at taking it off. It was her bond to Kyp-Kylo, she meant. Quickly grabbing a snippet of twine she'd scavenged from around the base, she made a quick necklace with the ring hung on it. She buried the ring beneath her shirt and started to the hangar bay.

She gave her X-wing a bare glance, and continued to the Falcon with Chewie and Finn. She smiled at him, and he smiled back as they began the procedures for take-off, shifting gears and double-checking calibrations.

Rey felt a relief as the Millenium Falcon shot into the air, leaving for the stars above.

* * *

"Kira!" Luke grinned as he welcomed the two and Chewbacca onto the island. "Come here, daughter."

He hugged her and she managed to put up the mental barrier just in time. She knew the old man never meant to pry, exactly, it was just second nature for him to reach out to anyone and everyone in the Force.

"Your shielding has gotten better," he said with a grin. He looked over to Finn. "When are you going to marry Kira, eh Finn? It's great to see you."

"It's great to see you too, Mr. Skywalker," Finn said, skating with only the slightest unease over the question of marriage to Rey.

"Call me Luke, I've only asked you five times," Luke said with a grin. "It's been a while since I took on one apprentice, much less two. Come along, we've got work to do."

Rey and Finn exchanged a smile as they followed the old man up the steep stairs to where the old Jedi huts were-supposedly of the first Jedi Order, according to Luke when Rey had asked on the first trip. They set what little they had brought in their designated rooms, and walked outside to where Luke was standing in the courtyard.

"Ready?" he asked.

Finn and Rey exchanged another glance.

"As I'll ever be," Finn answered.

"Now that's what I like to hear," Luke said. He then turned and began to lead them up another steep flight of stairs that spiraled around the hills.

They entered a valley filled with trees. Rey noticed a large, glowing tree in the center of it. She noticed that she was strangely fatigued, especially when she'd made such a climb before. She shrugged, hoping that she wasn't getting sick.

"This is a Force Tree," Luke said. "It's been here as long as the earliest Jedi. There was a legend involving this tree, about a family that was very Force-sensitive, the family that supposedly caused the rift between the light and the dark."

"Are you going to tell us?" Finn asked.

"In due time, young Padwan," Luke said teasingly. "But of course. There were the Ones, of course. But then there were the Sunriders."

"Sunriders?" Rey asked.

"Nomi, Ulic, Vima, Revan, and Meetra," Luke continued. With a wave of his hand, the images began to play in the Force, like they were there, watching it.

A red-haired woman with a baby and man about her age carrying a pouch of softly glimmering kyber crystals came over a hill. The couple was ragged and clearly had been living on the run for some time. They approached the tree relievedly and rested in the branches of the glimmering tree.

"Nomi and her partner, Ulic of the Qel-Droma family," Luke explained. "They were the first Force-sensitives, and were under persecution on their homeworld, Alderaan. They escaped with their lives and their daughter, Vima, and came here. They made their home here."

Rey watched as time sped ahead, to a small red-headed girl like Nomi running around Ulic and Nomi's ankles, climbing into the tree, and using the Force in practical, intuitive ways.

"The child had the Force, and was proving to be noble, like her mother. Nomi and Ulic had twins, however, who proved to be more powerful than their parents or their sister."

Two children, a boy and a girl, appeared, smiling and levitating rocks to jump on around the tree. Vima, the other girl who was clearly in her awkward pre-teen years, kept an eye on them as she worked outside on a metal device with three prongs out of the end and one of the kyber crystals Ulic had brought.

"As they grew older, the twins remained the best of friends through a telepathic communication they'd had since birth," Luke explained. "However, Nomi and Ulic began seeing ships circling overhead, in their little corner of the Galaxy."

Nomi and Ulic were clearly ushering their children into a camouflaged tent, and staring up as an ancient ship flew overhead. Vima, now a fourteen-year old with feral red hair and sharp blue-gray eyes glanced at her father, who nodded despite the fearful look in his eyes. She activated the device, elegant despite the wires sticking out, and dashed out, clearly using the Force to accelerate her agility.

"The Force was with them, however," Luke continued, and the scene changed to refugees talking to Vima with calm patience. "The Awakening, an event that allowed Force Sensitivity, caused several people to develop it, and like before, they were persecuted. However, this time, they intuitively followed the trace of the other Force-Sensitives in the galaxy (for this was after the Ones had disappeared). They arrived here, and began to congregate with the Sunriders."

"So they became the first Jedi Order," Finn realized.

"Not quite," Luke said. "Watch the story unfold."

The boy and girl, Revan and Meetra, were growing. And with it, Rey, Finn, and Luke watched as their feats in the Force grew more and more impressive. And with it, they began to recognize certain feats. Luke flinched as black lightning curled out of Meetra's fingertips. Rey's eyebrows rose at Revan's mind-trick on a ship's pilot circling overhead that caused it to leave. Finn in particular was simply amazed at what the twins could do together, levitating the Force-tree itself miles from the ground.

The scene changed yet again as the twins ran to a meeting of the congregation. They were shouting angrily, fearfully.

"Nomi had a vision of fleets of ships coming for this place," Luke said. "The fleet was seen the vision to have attacked and killed all the Force-sensitives. Everyone argued on the course of action. Revan and Meetra reached into their mother's mind and had experienced it for themselves. They chose to take action."

The twins, clearly nineteen, snuck away from the groups, and approached the tree.

"It needs a sacrifice," Meetra argued. "I need to do it."

"Don't, I'll do it, just don't leave me," Revan begged Meetra.

She smiled her mysterious smile, and a feeling of Jedi calm and Sith passion fell over Revan and the observers from the future.

"I'm the Chosen One, the one who has mastered both Light and Dark," she declared. "I'm sorry, Brother, it's the only way."

"Sister, wait-"

Before Revan could do anything, however, Meetra raised her own device, a lightsaber, and raised it to her chest. A scarlet blade pierced through her chest, and she fell to the ground. Revan de-activated it, and dropped to his knees, cradling his sister's dead body in his arms. He let out a cry that rang through the planet. Upon hearing it, they ran to find the twins.

Vima arrived in the dark scene, and immediately unleashed her green lightsaber.

"Vima had never quite been truly Jedi material," Luke said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Finn asked.

"She had passions and was never quite happy with the amount of power she held," Luke elaborated.

"So she was Sith," Rey said.

"Again, not quite yet," Luke said. "Listen. Watch."

"TRAITOR!" Vima screamed. "You killed your sister!"

"Why would I?" Revan demanded tearfully, not letting go of his sister's body. "I loved her! She killed herself to save us!"

"LIAR!" Vima screamed again, and she attacked. So her brother raised his blade against Vima's.

The images disappeared and they were in front of the Force Tree once again.

"What happened?" Finn asked.

"I simply wanted to tell the rest myself," Luke said. "Revan escaped with his hand severed, but took several of the Force-sensitives with him, claiming that Vima had tried to kill him and that they had to take a stand. Vima took the rest with her on a revenge trip. Eventually, the two would settle on different worlds and begin their respective Orders. On Dantooine, Revan Sunrider would create the Jedi Order. On Korriban, Vima Sunrider created the Sith Order."

"And that's what became of the Jedi and the Sith," Rey realized in a murmur.

"The spirit of the girl lived on in this tree," Luke said, patting it. "The rumor even continues that years later, Revan returned here and died in the tree where his sister's spirit remained."

"That's dark," Finn remarked.

"The way of the Jedi is too often a tragic one," Luke said. "I want you to understand this before I train you. Are we you ready?"

"We will be," Finn and Rey chorused.

Luke smiled.


	6. Prisoner's Dilemma

Rey found herself having to sit down again.

"Are you alright?" Finn asked. "Maybe you're pushing yourself too hard."

"Nonsense! I've done much more on Jakku," Rey insisted.

Finn checked for Luke, who was off somewhere. "Rey, you don't think it could be-y'know?"

Rey stared at him blankly, confused as to what it could be.

Finn checked again, praying that Luke wasn't in listening range.

"A baby."

She shook her head. "The medics at the Resistance said that I'm still a bit too thin for that. I might be at a good weight right now, but Leia in particular said I'm pushing it. Then she gave me a cookie."

"Kira?"

The two quickly put up mental shields as Luke walked over, concerned. He sat down next to Rey and hesitated, not knowing what to say. Rey noticed that he was always hesitating over his words with her. She wondered if it had anything to do with the guilt she felt radiating off of him.

"Kira, I need to know this," he said as gently as he could, placing his hand over hers. "Is there any way that you could be pregnant?"

"Why do you and Finn think that?" she demanded, leaping to her feet. "I told him, the medics, hells, even Leia, said that I wouldn't be able to maintain a pregnancy if I got it."

"That's what they said about your mother," Luke said. "Mara was always a bit too skinny until she had you. Not that she wasn't beautiful-your mom was a knockout, believe me, Kira."

"I guess maybe then, there might be small chance," Rey muttered, mortified by the suggestion. Luke grinned at Finn, then Rey.

"I knew you two would make a good couple," he said cheerfully. "I know how to tell. Would you mind if I tried to sense the baby's prescience?"

"Of course." Rey hesitantly let down her shields and waited. Luke closed his eyes and outstretched his other hand, his metal one. He blinked widely in surprise after a moment.

"They're twins!" he cried. "Congratulations! And one other thing. . ."

He steepled his fingers and appeared to be thinking of how to phrase the next words coming out of his mouth.

"I can sense a little bit of you," he said. "But I can't sense any of Finn in them. Kira, do you know who the father is?"

"Kyp Durron," Rey said instantly.

"Durron. . ." Luke thought on this for a moment. Rey immediately put her shields back up. "I recognize the name. Political activists on Deyer. The Durrons are good people."

Rey just blinked, unsure of what to say.

"I still want to train-"

"And you can," Luke said. "I'll just have to tone down the exercises-blast, if I had that kriffing droid Ben Kenobi used. . ."

He shook his head, then smiled at Rey.

"I'm very happy for you, Kira." He then hugged her. Rey decided once again that she liked the feeling of having a father.

* * *

"I can sense that you've had relations with another being," Snoke said in low, rumbling voice. "You can't hide from me, Kylo Ren. Now tell me, who was the girl?"

"Ja-Jaina Fel," he answered, but even he knew it was an obvious lie.

"Really? Lying to me, Ren, when I have been the only one who's ever truly cared?" Snoke growled. Kylo could feel the anger, the disappointment radiating so strongly from him, could feel it raging inside, bringing him back to when he was ten years old.

He was just a kid, for crying out loud, he didn't mean to electrocute the man who was trying to kidnap him! Yet his father wouldn't look at him, the father that had said too many times in front of him that he never wanted a kid, much less a Force-Sensitive one. His mother did, full of her own anger and disappointment, and fear. Fear of him turning into the monster.

 _They made me like this,_ he couldn't help but think whenever he was forcibly reminded of his parents, reminded of his guilt, reminded of the few times they'd ever been happy. _They're the reason I'm here._

"Tell me, Ren, who was the girl?"

"Kira Skywalker," he admitted reluctantly.

"Skywalker's daughter lives?" Snoke seemed surprised. Kylo blinked. The Supreme was never surprised. He always knew everything-how could he miss something like this?

"I want you to bring her to me," Snoke ordered, after a moment. There was a silence. Then the feeling of a Death Star exploding was in Kylo's mind. With it came an order the reverberated in every corner of his mind.

 _YOU WILL FIND KIRA SKYWALKER._


	7. Drops of Jupiter

"I can't believe that you're having twins with Kylo Ren!" Finn cried once they were in private.

"I can't believe that you haven't told Luke that you're with Poe, yet," Rey chastised. "It's not like he wouldn't accept it. Wes Janson said that he was the best man at his wedding with Hobbie Kilvian."

"Oh, they're married?" Finn asked. "That explains-"

"A lot, doesn't it?" Rey finished. "At least your secret will be accepted. I'm not sure if he really would be alright with me and Kylo. After all, he did destroy all of Luke's work."

"That's true," Finn admitted. "At least he knows that they aren't mine. What's he going to have you do?"

"More Force exercises, less combat training," Rey said. "But at least I still get to use a lightsaber."

"At least you have a lightsaber," Finn said. "I've got to make mine tomorrow, according to Skywalker."

"I'm sure it will be a wonderful lightsaber," Rey assured him. "Then we'll be able to spar."

"Well, not until the-"

"Luke said that I've got a couple months before I have to lay off the sparring," Rey said. "Thank the gods."

The pair was quiet for a moment.

"You should leave," Rey said. "I need to sleep."

Finn nodded, and he got up to leave. "Good night, Rey."

"Good night, Finn!"

As soon as he was gone, she pulled the chain with the ring out from under her shirt. The ring felt right in the palm of her hand, like her pilot doll did. The blistering sands of Jakku felt like forever ago, especially now that she'd gotten everything she'd wanted then.

 _And that's not enough, now,_ Rey thought as she turned the ring over and over in her hand. _On Jakku, I wanted my family, love, friends. I have my father, Finn, Poe, BB-8, and a husband. Now I want so much more. To be a Jedi. To be with Kylo. To raise my children better than my father did. To find out why I was left on Jakku._

That last question plagued her- it was the one Luke refused to mention. He never did say much about her mother, not even her name. She'd asked that when she first came to the island on Anch-To.

* * *

 _Luke in one swoop pushed the lightsaber to the side and embraced her, tears in his eyes._

 _"Kira," he'd said, referring to the name that she'd been born with- the name she didn't remember along with too many other things- her mother's ship, her father's face, the smell of their home on Yavin before. . ._

 _"I thought you were gone, Kira," he'd continued. "I thought both of you had disappeared forever. Where did she take you? What happened to you out there?"_

 _"Who is_ she _?" Rey had asked. She would tell him many other things in time, like what she called herself, her life as she could remember, but she wanted to know who the mysterious she was- although her eyes knew the truth, as Maz had told her._

 _"_ She _was your mother," Luke said as he began to smile, a first smile of sunshine after a long rainstorm. "But you're here, now, and she's there, in the past. Tell me everything,"_

* * *

A standard month passed, and Luke still called her Kira. (She still secretly called him Luke.) She had told him of her life on Jakku, and she was just as puzzled as he was by her lack of memories, and in particular why she couldn't remember before the tender age of eight.

She couldn't fall asleep, constantly rolling over as she wondered about her mother and what had happened to her.

* * *

 _It was raining on Yavin IV. The worst storm the moon had seen in years, according to his Uncle Luke. He knew that someone would be suspicious that he would come out in this weather, but he had to-_

 _Had to get away, had to run from the harm he could do- he heard the voice that had haunted him since childhood, and he was getting weaker and weaker- one day, he wouldn't be able to fight him off anymore. The scarred creature that everyone around him dismissed as a nightmare, especially the father that never wanted a Jedi son, much less one picked from the ruins of some settlement destroyed by the Remnant of the Empire._

 _He ran. He ran faster and faster through the rain, the howling winds, the trees that threatened to crush him as he tried to find a ship, the ships that he'd never been allowed to touch. Padwans got their own Z-95 Headhunters, a fund the Alliance was willing to compensate for the good of the Galaxy. He'd been a Padwan for ten long years, and they never let him leave the planet except for the occasional mission._

 _"Didn't want me running home," he muttered as he entered the dry hangar. "Well, joke's on them, I never wanted to go back home."_

 _Lightning flashed, bringing him back to when he was small and in the penthouse with Mother, who sang Alderaanian lullabies- except for the one time that Ben knew that Han thought he'd never remember, when he sang the Corellian Whiskey Lullaby. He pushed the memories to the side. The voice had ruined that._

 _He pulled the cloak like starlight that his father had given him before he left- oddly, one of the few times his father ever showed any real emotion to him was when he was leaving. Ben thought he might've seen tears in Han's eyes that day. The cloak was warmer than he'd imagined, a purpose to go with the grandeur. There was a time when he would've called it too grand for his fifteen-year-old skinny, wimpy body. That time was long gone._

 _He turned on his lightsaber, casting the hangar in a blue glow. His eyes were drawn to his aunt's ship that was rarely in the common hangar- usually off in the one that was locked to everyone that wasn't his aunt or uncle._ Jade's Fire.

 _He smiled, one of the few he'd had since he was fifteen. The first since his cousin-_ adopted cousin, _Ben reminded himself._ You don't belong in this family. _In the months that had passed since her disappearance, he watched as Mara had left more and more. But now he had his chance._

 _The security was surprisingly easy to slice, considering his aunt. But he didn't look a free bantha in the mouth, and climbed aboard the small freighter. He sat in the cockpit, and had only just inserted the keycard of his license when he sensed a presence aboard the freighter. Before he could get up and look for it, a purple blade sprang into existence inches in front of his neck._

 _"Don't kill me!" he cried as the dark energy within disappeared in the presence of the Emperor's Hand._

 _"Ben?"_

 _The lightsaber deactivated and Ben looked to his right to see his Aunt Mara. She sat down in the co-pilot's seat, expression imperceptible except for her brilliant green eyes. Her eyes betrayed concern and some sort of empathy._

 _"Trying to leave again?" Mara asked, a teasing tone in her voice. "You know, I might not have Farmboy's powers of foresight, but even I know that this is one of your bad ideas, Ben Solo."_

 _Ben shifted uncomfortably in the pilot's seat._

 _"Was it the nightmares again?" she asked._

 _Ben hesitated. No one ever believed him about the nightmares, the voice, any of it. They always dismissed it as a childish fantasy- well, everyone except two people, and one of them was sitting in front of him at that very moment._

 _He nodded._

 _"Is it that voice again?" she asked._

 _He nodded, trembling at the thought of him._

 _She let out a long sigh. "Farmboy should've looked into this a lot sooner. What did he tell you to do this time?"_

 _"The usual," he answered, unable to believe how calm and steady his voice. "Murder, to join him, unlimited power. . ."_

 _"Ben, I know-" she took a deep breath, definitely bracing herself to say the name- "I know Kira Rey saw him. She never told me what he looked like, but I know she saw him. I know you must know what he looks like. Ben, you've got to tell me what this friend of yours looks like."_

 _Ben shook his head as he withdrew further into the cloak. Despite being of age, he felt anything but. Especially when it came to his "friend." He'd told Mother one time what he saw- another time he drew him for Han- and neither believed him. Leia had blinked in disbelief and had told him to not anger the Senator for some obscure planet in the Outer Rim by making up such stories._

 _"Ben, I know the others don't believe you, but trust me, I know about these things," Mara said, looking him in the eye. "You don't have to protect him."_

 _Ben continued to shake his head._

 _"Kriff it, kid, I'm just trying to help you!" Mara snapped, but then froze when she saw her eighteen-year-old nephew trembling and withdrawing from her. She softened. "Look, kid, I remember the voice I had in my head. I-"_

 _"You had a voice like him?" Ben asked, clearly shocked. "Mine is scared of you."_

 _A smile quirked at Mara's lips. "He must know better than to mess with the Emperor's Hand."_

 _"Well, everyone knows that, Aunt Mara," he said with a faint smile and an eye roll. Like a normal teenager. "What was your voice like?"_

 _"He was an old man who screamed," Mara said, her eyes glazed over in reminiscence. "He gave commands from across the galaxy using the Force. And he was the Emperor."_

 _Ben's eyebrows shot up. "The Emperor was in your mind? Did he go away when he died?"_

 _"No, not even then," Mara sad sadly. "I was finally free when I followed his last command."_

 _"What was it?" Ben asked out of morbid curiosity._

 _"You must kill Luke Skywalker."_

* * *

Kylo bolted up, briefly hitting his head on the ceiling of the empty bunk in his command shuttle. He groaned, and swung his feet around, getting up to go the fresher. He gripped the sink as involuntary shudders went through his body. Yes, Kylo Ren still remembered Mara Jade Skywalker.

Grief seized him in a wave. She'd been there for him when no one else had- and then she was gone. He never wanted any of this to happen. Every time he thought of her, he knew she'd be ashamed of him, since he'd given in to the voice. Now the Supreme Leader controlled him.

 _YOU WILL FIND KIRA SKYWALKER._

His breathing grew heavy. Snoke wanted him to find his own wife- and what next? Kill her? His breathing grew more and more rapid until he found himself stumbling back, sliding down the door to his fresher, sobbing like he had managed not to since he killed his father.

"I'm sorry, Kira Rey," he whispered.

* * *

Rey awoke in a cold sweat from her dreams of the young Ben Solo and the woman she presumed to be her mother, despite the red hair.

"Mara Jade," she said aloud. "The Emperor's Hand?"

An Imperial? Her mother? More and more of what she knew was beginning to unravel. Rey buried herself underneath the covers, unable to believe anything that had happened to her as she turned to face the wall. She felt stupid for saying it, but it felt right.

"Um, I'm sorry that your father isn't here," she said, speaking aloud to her babies. "Ben, I wish you were here to help me."

She closed her eyes. She'd get up to ask Luke in a moment. Just a moment, but she was so tired. . .


	8. Tiny Dancer

"Balance," Rey reminded herself as she closed her eyes in the meditation sitting pose, focusing on levitating the rocks around her. "Balance is key."

Yet her thoughts wouldn't empty of everything but balance. Her mother, the twins, Kylo Ren, and worry for the boys clouded her mind. Finn and Luke had gone on a quest earlier in the morning to find a crystal for Finn's lightsaber (Rey had offered to let Finn have hers and she could just find her own, but Luke insisted she keep the Skywalker lightsaber) and they weren't back yet.

Even though Rey kept insisting that she could only be a month pregnant, and therefore could still train just as hard as Finn, Luke insisted just as much that because she was getting tired this early in the pregnancy that she tone it back.

"Your mother was the same way," he reminisced, a smile on his face before Rey spotted the unshed tears in his blue eyes.

Before Rey could ask any more questions, he had walked off with Finn.

"I should be able to lift some kriffing rocks- I'm a Skywalker," Rey muttered. Her green eyes opened to see that she herself was levitating, along with the rocks. Even R2-D2, who had stayed with her, was going up in the air. Rey smiled, and continued to allow herself to go up, enjoying it in a certain childishness. She closed her eyes again, but she found herself in another world.

She saw a crying woman in white, surrounded by shadows.

" _You're breaking my heart! You're going down a path that I can't follow!_ "

Rey reached out for the woman, only to take the hand of her father, Luke in a much younger state. They were on a barge floating above sand, and a woman had taken Luke's lightsaber. The woman with dark red hair- so dark it could be mistaken for brown, but red nonetheless- activated the bright green lightsaber-

 _YOU MUST KILL LUKE SKYWALKER._

Rey covered her hands over ears, the scream hurt. She looked up to see the woman attempt to stab Luke. Rey ran in between them, but instead of feeling the white-hot pain of a lightsaber, or death, lightning struck right before her. Rey whipped around to see a young man in a starry cloak wielding a trisaber- Kylo Ren's lightsaber, she realized in a jolt. He was standing with several in dark cloaks. There were only a few standing with Luke.

" _It's not about ambition- it's about peace, it's about building a better world_!"

Rey backed away, only to hear the too-familiar lightsaber behind her. When she turned around, however, she saw a boy and a girl of fourteen or fifteen wielding a purple and a green lightsaber, building a triangular golden ship with the Force.

" _I'm sorry, Kira Rey._ "

Frightened, Rey opened her eyes just as she dropped back on the ground. She leapt to her feet, and pulled her lightsaber out from her pack, turning it over and over again in her hands.

She activated it and looked over the edge of the stone wall surrounding the huts. Something was coming, and she secretly knew who it was- and dreaded it.

"Your father is coming," she murmured to the twins, as stupid as it was.

"Rey?"

She whipped around to see Finn running down the hill, his golden yellow lightsaber activated, as was Luke's bright green one, the exact same as the one in the vision.

"Are you alright?" Finn asked.

"I'm fine," Rey said, her words half a lie. Right now, physically, she was. But she knew that Kylo was coming. And it wasn't because he was happy to be a father. Rey wondered if he even knew that they were having twins.

 _Probably not. . ._

"Kira?"

Rey jumped, remembering the name she'd heard in Kylo's voice. Kira Rey.

"What?" she asked.

"I was asking how your force training went," her father said gently. "R2 says that you were lifting even him up."

"It went well," Rey replied.

"Did you have a vision?" Luke asked. Rey's feelings betrayed her, the shock pouring onto her face.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"I didn't, until you confirmed it," Luke explained with a mischievous smile. "Fathers who happen to be Jedi Grandmasters tend to have good hunches, sweetheart."

Rey nodded, although she was wary of the diminutive, remembering the voice of the man in her vision. It wasn't Luke, though, she knew that how, hearing it.

"What did you see?" Luke asked.

Rey bit her lip. "It was a flash of scenes and words. I don't know what happened, but I got this feeling from it. I think Kylo Ren is coming."

"Ben?" Luke raised his eyebrows, and his eyes showed his shock, and an edge of anger. "Well, we'll just wait for him, won't we?"

"We should run," Finn argued. "We're barely more trained than we were last time, and we barely got away."

"But you've got me with you, this time," Luke assured him. "Besides, it's no use running. My nephew is. . . Determined beyond what the ordinary would be."

"We keep training then?" Rey asked.

"Of course," Luke said. "You're my pupils, and I need to train you if we're going to create the New Jedi Order."

"Us?" Rey was shocked. Only two months ago, she'd thought that Luke was a myth. Now she was supposed to help create more Jedi.

"Do you see any other apprentices?" Luke asked.

Finn and Rey shared a smile.

"Come on, let's have you spar with that new lightsaber," Luke said, smiling at his students. Finn and Rey raised their blue and yellow lightsabers at each other.

* * *

Kylo sighed. He knew he had to do it. He only hoped that maybe, just maybe with all of Rey's light that she could forgive him for what he was about to do. He closed his eyes, seeking her out in the Force. She came to him too easily. He knew where she was, the place where his uncle had run to.

 _Anch-To,_ he remembered the one time the Academy had a field trip there. It was after little Kira Skywalker- Rey- had disappeared. That was when Luke and Mara had begun to leave him, just like Han and Leia had.

He punched in the coordinates he remembered from the trip, and made the jump to hyperspace.


	9. Across the Stars

It was late at night when she heard it. She threw on her pants and ran bare-footed out on the cool stones of the pavilion of the ancient Jedi. Lightsaber in one hand, silver pistol in the other, she ran to see a large shuttle landing next to the Millennium Falcon.

Out of the shuttle came the hulking figure of Kylo Ren. Rey wasn't afraid, far from it, but she wasn't so sure of his motives. Still, in a moment of passion, she met him at the stairs in an embrace.

Stars above, she loved his embrace, the way his arms, his everything would surround her, blocking the outside world for a little while. There was a silence as they embraced each other in the Force, the light and the dark entwining until it was something unrecognizable and more profound than either side.

Rey looked up. "Why are you here?"

"The Supreme Leader requested I find Skywalker's daughter and bring her to him," he said in his usual monotone, although his eyes betrayed him.

"I'm not going with you," she said coldly. "I don't care if you're my husband- I'm not leaving Luke or Finn. I know that Snoke either wants me dead or as an apprentice. That's not going to happen."

"I know," he said softly.

"Then go home," Rey said snappishly. "If you don't want to follow Snoke anymore, then go to Luke. Or to Leia- surely she'll welcome you back-"

"Despite her reaction at the cantina?" Kylo raised his eyebrows. "I sincerely doubt she would accept any surrender from me. And it's not that easy."

"And why isn't it?" Rey demanded.

"Because he's always there!" Kylo snapped. "I'm never alone! You know that!"

"Let Luke help you," Rey urged. "Surely he'll let you stay, especially if I tell him-"

"You want to tell him that we're married?" Kylo cried. "You think somehow that the old man won't want to kill me more when he finds that little tidbit out?"

"Yes, because he'll know that you're the father of my children!" Rey snapped. She then blinked. She'd forgotten in the heat of the moment that Kylo had no way of knowing she was expecting.

"You're pregnant?" Kylo's jaw dropped. "I'm going to be a father?"

"To twins," Rey said. The couple stared at each other for a moment, taking it all in. Kylo then grabbed Rey's shoulders.

"You need to hide!" he cried. "And not tell me! If the Supreme Leader finds out, he'll want you alive so he can take your- our- children!"

"I'm not hiding- it's my duty to train, and I'm only a month in," Rey insisted.

"Then how did- oh, Uncle must've sensed it," Kylo realized.

"I must've sensed what?"

The couple looked to their right to see Luke Skywalker, green lightsaber activated and ready for combat, standing there with Finn and Artoo by his side.

"Lu-Father, I-"

"Kira, just tell me the truth," Luke said calmly. "What's going on here?"

"I lied when I said Kyp Durron was my husband- well, from a certain point of view," Rey admitted. "Kylo is the father of the twins."

Luke's eyes widened. "Please tell me someone told you that Ben's adopted."

"We do!" The two chorused quickly. Kylo looked in particular like he wanted a shot of Corellian Whiskey at that remark.

"Good," said Luke, looking between the two of them uneasily. "If you didn't. . . Well, that's another story. I'm grateful you at least know that you aren't related. As for you, Ben- why did you come here?"

"I sensed something was wrong with Rey, and I left," Kylo lied. Rey silently thanked him, knowing that maybe, if Kylo would just let himself surrender to the light long enough, the boy that she was in love with, the one spark of light in the dark, the one who allowed them to be Kyp Durron and Jaina Fel, the one she saw in her vision talking to her mother- maybe he would take over, rather than the monster Snoke had created.

"And I told him that he was going to be a father," Rey said with a fake brightness, with an underlying, real optimism.

"I'm going to make sure my wife and. . . Twins," Kylo said awkwardly as he put his arm around Rey's shoulders. "I'm not going to let the First Order or the Knights of Ren touch them."

"It's good to see you're making some good decisions, Ben," Luke said, his blue eyes penetrating Rey's hazel and Kylo's brown eyes. Rey hadn't noticed it before, but Kylo had stiffened considerably at the use of his birth name. It made her curious, but she pushed the thoughts aside.

"We'll talk more in the morning," Luke said decisively. "Perhaps you would like to share a hut with your wife?"

The two nodded eagerly.

* * *

Rey had forgotten too soon what it was like to lie in Kylo's arms. She reveled in the sensation, much like his embrace. Her nimble fingers ran through his thick dark hair.

"Rey?"

"Mmm?" she refused to open her eyes, a part of her that was strangely, and perhaps foolishly in love with Kylo Ren not wanting to in case he would disappear when she did.

"I want you to call me by my name- my real name," he said.

"Ben?" she asked in surprise. "I thought you preferred Kyp."

There was a hesitation.

"I always preferred Ben," he admitted. "But the Supreme Leader never allowed it."

"Snoke was telling you what to call yourself in your own mind?" Rey cried, disgusted with the creature Leia mentioned with venom in her voice.

"Still does," he said. "I'm never alone."

"Is he here now?" she asked.

"No," he answered after a pause. "He never does seem to be in my head when you're around."

"Oh, Ben," she murmured as she burrowed into his embrace, and he clutched onto her like she was his anchor to life itself.


	10. Jade Eyes

Rey could sense Ben's nervousness in the morning.

"Luke will forgive you," she said. "He's much more forgiving than me."

"Well, you are stubborn like Aunt Mara," he said, and then suddenly he was quiet.

"Mara- that was her name, right?" Rey pressed. "Mara Jade?"

"Uncle Luke didn't even tell you her name?" Ben asked, surprised.

"He told me I had a mother and sort of implied that she was gone," Rey said. "He refuses to talk about her."

"Makes sense," Ben muttered.

"Are you the reason that she's gone?" Rey asked, following an intuition of hers.

"No," he answered. "No one knows what happened to her."

"So she just left? That makes no sense," she argued. "Why would she have left?"

"Do you remember anything about before Jakku?" Ben asked, suddenly switching the subject.

"No, it's all. . . A blur. . ." Rey reached a hand to her forehead. "Only a few things here and there- mostly, I don't remember anything."

Ben frowned. "She left because she was looking for you."

"For me?" Rey asked. "What happened?"

Ben shrugged. "Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara never told me. I only remember one night that you were gone."

"I knew you as a child?" Rey asked.

"Yes," Ben said with a rare smile, ones that lit up Rey's world. "You used to follow me around all the time- nothing more embarrassing when you're fifteen than a five-year-old hanging off your cloak all the time."

Rey snickered. She couldn't imagine it- she couldn't even imagine her doing it. She sobered when she remembered that Luke was waiting. She could feel his anxiety as well as Ben's, and it filled her body with tension.

"Come on, let's go," she said, and his big hand enveloped hers as she led him outside.

As predicted, Finn and Luke were waiting. Finn was naturally uneasy at the thought of being on the same planet as the man who lightsaber'd his spine, even if he was married to his best friend. Rey didn't need to be Force-sensitive to sense that.

"Ben, you say you've come because of Kira," Luke said. "Tell me, I know you're making some good decisions now, but how far are you going to go? Are you going to be a Jedi? Or will you remain on the Dark Side?"

"I'm willing to learn a little," Ben admitted. "I'm not ready to give up the dark."

"Mara would've wanted you to get back on the path of the Jedi," Luke said encouragingly.

"Who's Mara?" Finn asked.

"You mean my mother that you never talk about?" Rey asked in quick rapid fire.

Luke's eyes widened. "Yes, her name was Mara. How do you know that?"

"I heard her name in a vision," Rey admitted.

"I see," Luke said, his eyes misting over. "You must be getting along a lot further in your ability to use the Force than I thought."

Rey shrugged.

Luke looked to Ben. "Maybe you could teach her?"

Ben and Rey shared a look.

"Of course, Uncle Luke," Ben answered.

"Good- it'll give me some one-on-one with Finn," Luke said. "Perhaps you'd also like to teach both of them how to use a lightsaber?"

Finn looked more than a little uneasy at that.

"Maybe we shouldn't be giving the former dark-sider a chance to beat up the Supreme Leader's Most Wanted," he pointed out.

"What, traitor, think you can't take me on?" Ben taunted.

"Enough!" Luke snapped.

"I hardly said anything," Ben whined.

"Well, I'm stopping it before anything starts," Luke said firmly. "Let's eat, and then we will begin meditations for the morning."

Rey eagerly agreed and practically sprinted into the cooking hut. She had a strong need for something sweet- her mouth was already watering at the idea of taking down a huge chocolate bar or something.

Instantly, she ran for the fridge, and grabbed the chocolate, the marshmallow fluff, and sat down at the table with a spoon.

"Are you sure you want to eat all of that?" Ben asked as he sat down next to her and tried to break off a bit of chocolate. Rey slapped him on the wrist, and took the bit of chocolate for herself.

"I'm sure," she said through a full mouth. "Back off, Solo. It's mine."

He put his hands up in surrender and just sat there. It was only after Rey had demolished the chocolate bar and was about to start on the marshmallow fluff that she noticed Finn and Luke were eating, but not Ben.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Rey asked.

Ben shook his head.

"Take advantage of food, this place actually has it," Rey said through another mouthful of marshmallow fluff. "Especially since the Resistance began sending shipments."

"I'm fine."

"You're going to take care of yourself while you're here, Solo," Rey said threateningly. "I don't want any of the stupid martyr stuff. You need to take care of yourself!"

Reluctantly, Ben took a muffin from Luke's plate, who was waiting the two interact closely.

"Are you having cravings, Kira?" Luke asked, upon seeing the fast rate of Rey consuming the marshmallow fluff.

"No," she deadpanned. "Of course I'm not. Not like I'm pregnant or anything."

"Mm," Luke said. "Good. Cravings are a sign the baby- excuse me, babies in your case, are developing nicely."

"I just didn't think cravings started this early," Rey admitted between spoonfuls. "I thought they were further along."

"For some women, they are," Luke said. "But yet another trait you inherited from your mother."

"I'm a lot like her, aren't I?" Rey asked with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Very much," Luke agreed with a sad smile. "You have her green eyes, you know, the Jade eyes."

Ben snorted. "I remember her making that pun an insufferable amount of times."

"You couldn't say that Mara was humorless," Luke said. In a moment, he stood. "I think we should begin meditations."


	11. More Than a Feeling

They held hands as they sat in the cross-legged position. Rey felt a sense of belonging, with the way she fit with Ben. It was a small comfort in her short, brutish life. With the way he looked at her, she knew he felt the same way.

"Think on your feelings," Luke instructed quietly. "Deeply consider them, and open yourself up to them. The way you use the Force does depend on your feelings. Understanding your emotions at their core is most important. It will help you channel your feelings and the Force the right way."

"The right way?" Rey asked.

"The dark and the light," Ben said in short, sharp tone.

"I just want to you meditate on your feelings," Luke summarized. "Take as much time as you need."

Rey began to focus on her feelings. She knew her happiness, at having Ben near her, him reclaiming his former name. Her joy truly resided in the twins within her, however. She'd wanted a family for quite some time, but she hadn't been so sure that she wanted twins. Yet she knew that she would care for them like her father and mother hadn't been able to for her.

There was the thread though, that tugged at her mind. She felt resentment and anger towards her parents- her father and mother who had let her disappear and hadn't gone looking for her when she needed them the most.

At the root of her anger, she realized, was her fear. Her fear that the whispers, the nagging doubt that her parents were never coming back was true. That fear felt like a darkness surrounding her, threatening to snuff out the very light in life.

Unconsciously, she reached out to Ben and Finn in a moment of clinging onto the light, to the someones who came back to her even after leaving- everyone left, after all. They called to her in the Force, giving the gentle yet powerful reassurances of their force signatures.

Confident and centered, Rey opened her eyes, and looked to Ben sitting next to her, looking at peace for once. The only other time she'd seen such calm on his face was when he was staring at her in the snow of Starkiller Base with something she hadn't recognized at the time but re-visited in memory.

"Very good, Kira," Luke said. "You've got a good handle on your emotions. You'll learn soon when to trust what you're feeling and when to ignore it. It's a difficult journey, but this exercise is showing me that you'll do well."

"Thank you L- I mean, Father," Rey said, correcting her mistake quickly, although she still saw the subtle drop in his face whenever she almost called him Luke instead of Father.

"What I particularly liked was how you reached out to Finn and Ben when you found yourself in a dark place," Luke continued. "While the path of the Jedi isn't easy, it isn't one that should be walked alone. And one must remember to love, even when hatred seems like the only option. Love is the truest trait of a Jedi Knight."

Rey found herself smiling. "I understand, Father."

Luke looked to the boys still meditating.

"You can go take a break," he said.

"Can I have a snack?" Rey asked, having the strong craving for marshmallow fluff again.

Luke nodded.

Rey turned on heel and dashed into her hut, into the bathroom. While washing her hands, Rey glanced up at the gritty old mirror and did a double-take.

Her hair was dark red.


	12. I'm a Believer

Rey ran her hands through her hair, unable to fathom why it had turned red. She turned on her heel and ran back to Luke, forgetting all about the marshmallow fluff she so craved.

"Kira, what's wrong?" Luke asked concernedly, immediately turning around to face his distressed daughter.

"I don't understand, my hair-"

"It's the same color as your mother's was," Luke explained calmly. "You have her eyes, too."

"But it was a different color before," Rey pointed out.

Ben opened his eyes to see what the fuss was about and his eyes widened.

"How did your hair change color?" Ben asked confused.

"That's what I'm asking him!" Rey snapped frustratedly.

"Do you want an answer or not? If you do, then listen!" Luke shouted to get the two to quiet down. He smiled in satisfaction when Finn also opened his eyes, all three watching him confusedly.

"Kira, you must've been put under a Force Glamour, one that changed your hair color from red to brown," Luke explained. "It means that your kidnappers must've been adept in the Force."

"Who did it?" Rey asked, a curiosity after all these years.

"I don't know," Luke admitted. "Mara was trying to find that out, but then. . ."

"She disappeared," Ben finished grimly.

Rey nodded. "Thank you for explaining. I- I've got to go."

She turned and fled for the kitchen hut, needing both emotional solitude and marshmallow fluff. Such things were vital in the life of a young pregnant woman. Rey snatched the marshmallow fluff off the shelf and found herself crying as she shoveled it into her mouth.

She didn't even know why she was crying, why exactly she felt sad- before she wouldn't have wasted a drop since water on Jakku was so precious. But still she sat there, crying and eating marshmallow fluff.

"Rey?"

"Leave me alone, Ben!" Rey shouted angrily through her tears. "Just leave me alone!"

"Are you sure?"

Rey reached for her lightsaber at her waist and heard the quickened steps of her husband walking.

 _Yes, run away you little coward_ , she thought spitefully, and then paused. _I didn't mean that._

She was then embraced by the presence of her husband, and felt him sit down next to her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I- I don't know," Rey admitted as the crying began anew. She leaned her head on Ben's shoulder.

"Probably the mood swings," Ben said in a low voice. "I remember Aunt Mara would be sweet one moment, then almost cut you with her lightsaber the next."

Rey managed a laugh and then was contemplatively silent.

"Let's go back," she said decidedly once her cravings had subsided.

* * *

Ben awoke with a start in the night.

 _YOU MUST FIND KIRA SKYWALKER._

He looked to Rey beside him. He couldn't do that to her. He just couldn't. But he never was able to break the voice inside his head.

 _Weak_ , he sneered at himself. _Weak, pathetic, useless._

He gently untangled himself from Rey, and threw a Jedi robe over his shoulders, walking out. He sighed and leaned over the rock wall guarding the pavilion from the cliffs and seas below.

 _YOU MUST FIND KIRA SKYWALKER._

Despite the futility of the gesture, Ben covered his ears with his hands like a small child- like he did as a child. He wished more than ever that Mara was still with them and could tell him what to do about the voice in his head.

He never did think that he'd meet the voice in his head, although Mara warned him that if he ever did get in the physical presence of the voice, its power over him would get stronger.

 _She was right. And you were a fool, a coward._

He thought about going into the shuttle and leaving, throwing himself into the depths of hyperspace to live and die, so he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore. Regret and remorse washed over him like a tidal wave.

 _Forgive me, Father._

Before he could go through with his plan, he felt a tendril of Rey's presence in the Force reaching out to him unconsciously, pleading with him to come back to her.

 _I can't leave her,_ he realized, remembering the look on her face when she departed for the island, he for the Supreme Leader. _But I also can't go on in the Supreme Leader's service any longer._

 _I wonder if I could find Aunt Mara,_ he thought as he slipped back into the hut, closing the door behind him. _I'll have to look into that._

He stared at Rey for a moment, his Kira Rey. She was even more beautiful with her dark red hair in the moonlight, curled into a little ball, clearly trying to reach for him even in dreamland.

 _I don't deserve you,_ he thought as he lay in her arms once more, and fell in the black of nightmares without a second thought


	13. Battle Meditation

Rey awoke to see Ben lying next her, awake with circles under his eyes. She smiled, enjoying having her hair stroked by his hands. Maybe few would understand why she'd choose him, when she had Finn. (Despite Finn clearly loving Poe with all of his heart.) She loved him in moments like these, when she knew that both of them had only experienced heartache and pain and we're moving past it.

Sometimes, she doubted herself. She wondered if her marriage to him was just an act of desperation, and if she was bonding too quickly to him. After all, that's what some people would say if they knew. They'd call her weak, they'd say that she was in a bad relationship.

 _But he came back,_ she thought, shoving the doubts away. _He came back and he wants to be the father of my children._

"Good morning," she said.

"I love you," Ben said, his forehead touching hers. They lay like that together for a moment, and then began the morning routine, getting dressed and styling Rey's hair into her three buns.

She couldn't help but steal glances of Ben in his Jedi clothes, and a starry cloak she could've sworn she'd seen in a dream. She thought about asking, but decided against it as she slid her gauntlets up her arms and tugged on her boots.

Outside, Luke looked particularly proud of himself.

"Leia came through," he said joyfully.

"On what?" Ben asked, eager to hear of his adoptive mother despite her less-than-friendly attitude towards him the last time they met.

"We're getting more potential Jedi next week," Luke said. "Leia's had some of her pilots go out to find Force-sensitive individuals. This will help the Jedi begin to thrive."

"I suppose so," Rey said quietly. "But you said yesterday we need to work on sparring and so many other things-"

"Patience, Kira," Luke said. "I can see that we cannot do this the way the Old Republic Jedi did, and the old Academy's ways aren't quite right either. I've studied much on the way of the Jedi, and I know we'll all get there in time."

"Of course," Rey conceded.

"But first, breakfast," Luke declared.

* * *

Finn finally backed down from Luke.

"Very good," Luke said encouragingly. "You're getting better at anticipating my movements through the Force and blocking them. I think you're ready to practice with Ben. Kira, are you ready?"

Rey nodded with a gritted expression on her face. She gave an encouraging look and the two nodded as they passed, understanding the message.

 _May the Force be with you._

Rey unleashed the Skywalker lightsaber, and did a few flashy warmup spins like she'd seen Ben do when he dueled her on Starkiller.

"Very nice," Luke said approvingly. "Spins help with blaster deflection. And of course, showing off."

Rey smiled as Luke raised his saber. She waited, circling him, and finally, realizing he wasn't going to make the first move, she struck. He blocked, and she had to dodge a quick swipe. She sensed another swipe and blocked it with a loud crash from the sabers.

She swung, avoided Luke's block, and then struck again as the green and blue clashed together, surging with the power of kyber crystals. In a moment of a certain power, she took the confidence, the reassuring encouragement in the Force, and disarmed Luke.

The air was quiet for a moment. Then Luke laughed and clapped.

"Good job, Kira," he said delightedly. "I can tell you have a certain gift. I sensed it towards the end. Perhaps- I wonder if I could test it. . . Hmm. . ."

He looked to the sparring Ben and Finn. Both men were actually keeping it friendly, despite the enmity the two shared.

"Put the duel in Finn's favor," Luke whispered.

"How?" Rey asked, unsure what exactly he was talking about.

"I'll help you," Luke promised. He then gave her a gentle push in the Force, one that felt like a gloved hand over her own as she shifted a gear- a fuzzy memory that had resurfaced as Rey recognized the similar feeling. Not dwelling on it, she sensed Ben's arrogance, willingness to fight, and morale.

With the help of Luke's presence, Rey took these feelings, transferring them to Finn, and taking Finn's fear, his defensiveness, and giving it to Ben. Rey concentrated so hard on maintaining the switch, that she didn't feel Luke's presence retreating, having done the job.

It was all Finn needed to disarm Ben and for the fight to be over.

"Good job," Luke said, clapping. "Finn and Kira. Finn, you're becoming a great duelist. Kira, you've done a good job using Battle Meditation to help your ally."

"Battle meditation?" Finn asked.

"It's a type of ability in the Force that can allow one to transfer the enemy's willingness to fight, bravery, etc to their own troops," Luke explained. "Kira took Ben's overconfidence and focus and gave it to Finn. As you see, willpower can change the fight very quickly."

"You mean you cheated to help me win against Kylo Ren?" Finn demanded angrily.

"I was showing her a new Force technique and you two happened to be the closest to demonstrate on," Luke explained calmly.

"You might've asked me first!" Finn cried, outraged. "Didn't you think that I might want to do it by myself- for me?"

"You're right," Rey admitted. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have interfered. I won't interfere again unless you ask me to."

Finn's face softened. "I forgive you, Rey."

"Very good, Finn," Luke said. "Forgiveness is the Jedi way."

There was a moment of silence, and then Finn nodded. He then looked curiously to Rey.

"Maybe we could do that again," he said.

"You wouldn't mind it?" Rey asked in surprise.

"If I know about it," Finn clarified.

"Of course," Rey said quickly. "Of course. I wouldn't go inside your head without your permission again."

"Let's give it a shot," Finn said with a smile. He looked to Ben. "Rematch?"

Ben just smiled and activated his trisaber.


	14. New Jedi Order

Rey awoke excitedly, leaping out of bed. Today was the day the new apprentices would be coming. She wanted new friends, and she couldn't wait for more company, and a shipment of sweets.

Ben, sensing her excitement, chuckled and got out of bed with her. She quickly dressed and ate. The day seemed to drag on for her as she waited for the ship to arrive.

Indeed, at noon, two X-wings were escorting the large passenger ship, _Amidala_.

Rey, Finn, Ben, and Luke were standing in the pavilion, ready to see their new company. The X-wings landed first, revealing Poe and Jessika Pava. Finn ran to Poe and embraced him. Jessika Pava marched up to Ben.

"General says welcome back," she told him. "Also said congratulations for actually eloping. You and Kira Skywalker."

Ben winced at Rey's birth name, but smiled and put his arm around Rey.

"Thank you, Pava."

"Any time, Solo," Jessika said with a salute. "Wedge made a run- he's driving the Amidala."

"Ah, I'll have to catch up with him," Luke said reminiscently. "Thank you for making the trip."

"It's all good," Jessika said with a shrug. "Poe wanted to reunite with his lover and I wanted to see Solo and maybe punch him in the face for all the bantha poodoo he put the General through."

Luke nodded, although his shoulders shook as if he were fighting off laughter.

The _Amidala_ landed, and Rey tried to keep herself from bouncing like a small child in excitement. Out of the ship exited several people. Rey counted seven humans, three Twi'leks, a Togruta, and a strange feathery being.

Excitedly, she rushed over to say hello. Immediately, she was greeted by two sullen-faced teenagers, one wearing a CorSec jacket and her hair in a braid, the other in colorful armor with blue hair.

"Hi, I'm Rey," she said. "Who're you?"

"Jysella Horn," the girl said with a proud air.

"Mical Bridger," the boy with blue hair answered.

"Really?" Rey asked, having heard similar names before. Of a Mirax Terrik-Horn who had occasionally done business with Plunkett on her big red ship. And she'd heard legends of Ezra Bridger. "Wouldn't be related to Mirax Terrik-Horn or Ezra Bridger, would you?"

"My mom," the girl answered.

"My dad," the boy said dryly.

"That's nice," Rey said, slightly miffed by the stuffiness of the teenagers.

A beautiful woman in a black evening dress with a beauty mark and flowing curls approached Rey from behind the teenagers.

"So the rumors are true," the girl said, looking Rey up and down. "My baby cousin came back!"

"Who're you?" Rey asked out of curiosity.

"Of course, you don't remember, do you?" the girl said sympathetically. "I'm Isolt Naberrie- I would be Queen Amidala's great-niece. I guess I'm your second cousin, once removed. And you're Kira. You look like your mother- I remember from when I attended the Academy before Ben. . ."

The air fell eerily silence at the implication of what Ben had done.

"Lunch is being served," Luke declared, his voice carrying over the pavilion. "Jessika, Poe, you're invited."

* * *

Rey sat with Ben, Finn, Isolt, Jessika, Poe, and another human girl- well, not fully human. She resembled Jessika slightly, but had fuller cheeks and a rounder body. She wore goggles on her face and had blue-green thick, wavy hair. Looking further, Rey thought she saw some webbing between the humanoid's fingers.

"This is my cousin," Jessika had said when the two girls had sat down.

"Jynnifer Pava," the girl said. "Half-nixie, you see. Native to our home planet."

"Cool," Rey said. "Why do you wear those goggles?"

"Vision problems," Jynnifer said. "Can't fix them at a medbay, there's some problems involved with being half-nixie, you see. Plus, they look cool."

"That they do," Rey said, fascinated by the design. They reminded her of the goggles she had in her home on Jakku that she'd made with a stormtrooper helmet and spare leather she found in the Finalizer.

She realized that she missed making those things. She didn't miss the endless waiting, the mindless waiting on Jakku as she fought to survive another day. But she did miss the crafting. Her little doll was probably still sitting on the table in the AT-AT.

"Excuse me," she murmured, and she scurried away up to the top of the hill, where she had first met her father. Sobs stuck in her throat. There was so much she didn't remember and so much she wanted to forget at the same time. She wanted to forget the hungry nights as a little girl, the endless work, the time she'd gotten her period and thought she was dying. But she wanted to remember who she was before that.

She cried atop the mountain, not sensing the one who stood behind her, the one who had once been that lonely too.


	15. Jedi Knight

"Very good, Kira."

Rey rose as quickly as she could, now nine months pregnant. The twins would be born soon, but until then, she waddled everywhere. Not very suiting to a Jedi.

"You've done well," Luke said. He then hugged his daughter. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you," Rey said, hugging her father as much as she could with her bulging belly.

"I think you're ready," Luke declared.

"For what?" Rey asked, curious.

"To be made a Knight," he answered. "Your ceremony is this afternoon. Good job."

He then walked away to help Isolt Naberrie and one of the Togruta students, Remi D'Arkall, with their swordplay. Rey waddled to a table nearby, proud of herself. Finn had been knighted two months before, and she'd been wanting to catch up. Luke seemed to be trying to postpone it until the twins were born. Then again, he hadn't exactly knighted Ben either. . .

 _He hasn't really been a Jedi,_ she reminded herself. _He still has the dark side within him._

While the light she'd seen before when she looked at him in the Force, it was still shrouded in shadow. He was distant sometimes, and Rey would worry that he'd leave. But he always stayed.

She looked up, hearing the roar of Finn's Z-95 Headhunter, the _Runaway_ overhead. She smiled, relieved that Finn had obviously returned from his mission to Corellia.

As their academy grew, Leia began sending missions. It had been Rey's third trimester when Luke had banned her from going on missions, for fear of her hurting herself. Rey instead had focused on studying the Force and practicing with her lightsaber, but she was a Skywalker- wanting to save the Galaxy was in her blood.

She got up and began waddling towards the pavilion, where she could greet her best friend.

"Finn!" she cried, embracing him.

"Rey," he said as he hugged her back, and they let go. "I came back from stopping a train hijacking in Corellia."

"Really?" Rey's green eyes widened. "You'll have to tell me all about it."

"I will," Finn promised. "How are the twins?"

"Should be born in the next three weeks," she said quickly. "Now tell me what you did!"

"Okay, okay," Finn replied amusedly. "You see, there was this TIE-Fighter, and Poe had to go overhead, and. . ."

* * *

Ben squinted, unable to believe what he'd found. After nine months of heavy slicing, (a hobby when he was a child, tying in great with his logic puzzles Leia got him) he'd finally found what he'd been looking for.

He'd sliced into the computer and cameras in the _Jade's Shadow_. Before he could check the cameras to see where it was, he sensed Rey coming. He quickly shut off the computer, and then heard the door open.

"Ben, it's almost time for my ceremony," she chided. "I was wondering where you were!"

"I'll be down in a moment," Ben promised. He made the mistake of glancing towards the computer.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"Nothing important," he said quickly. Rey narrowed her eyes.

"I can tell when you're lying to me, Ben Solo," she said with pure ice in her voice.

Ben sighed. "Look, it's complicated. I'll tell you after your ceremony. I know you've been waiting for this day for a long time."

"You promise?" Rey asked, her voice peaking of worry.

"I promise," Ben vowed. "But what's this really about, Rey? Are you worried I'm talking to someone?"

The look on her face confirmed it. Ben sighed.

"I'd never leave you, Rey," he promised. "Never again."

 _YOU MUST FIND KIRA SKYWALKER._

Ben winced involuntarily. The voice, the command, had only gotten stronger the more he delayed. He couldn't do it to her, he couldn't. . .

"Ben. . ."

He managed to return to reality upon hearing her uncertain voice.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Let's go to your ceremony."

"Alright, she said with an uneasiness.

* * *

Luke stood on the top step on the floor that was over the canteen area.

"Today," he said as everyone listened, bellies full, "we honor one of our most studious pupils with Knighthood. Kira Skywalker, please come forward."

Rey got to her feet, smiling as she waddled up the stairs, using the Force to speed things up a little bit. Luke pulled out his yellow shoot that he used specifically for knightings.

"Kira, are you ready to bind yourself to the Jedi Order?" Luke asked.

"I am," Rey said.

"And will you serve the Jedi Code to the best of your abilities?" Luke asked.

"I will," Rey vowed.

Luke turned on the shoto at training-level heat- nothing that would permanently damage her. He had it over over one shoulder, then the other.

"Kira Skywalker, I name you a Knight of the Jedi Order," he declared proudly. There was applause as Rey turned to the crowd, excited for the day to have finally come. Her eye caught Ben's and she smiled as she saw him clap.

* * *

"I think I may have found a clue to where your mother is," Ben said when they were alone in the hut.

Rey's eyes widened. "What?"

"I sliced into her old ship- I was about to check the cameras, then you came in," he explained.

"Why did you hide this from me?" she demanded.

"I was going to tell you, but I wasn't sure it was going to work," Ben admitted. _Besides, I need Mara to tell me something you can never know._

Rey hesitated, then nodded. "Let's see, then."

Ben turned on the computer and accessed his page quickly. He typed in a code, and several cameras sprang up. It appeared to be in a hangar somewhere. Ben quickly recognized the location.

"The detention facility on Vjun," Ben murmured. I never sensed her when I was in Bast Castle. _Is she still there, or is it just the ship?_

"Take me there," Rey ordered, before Ben could ponder further.

"What?"

"We need to go there, I can feel it," she said, standing.

"We can't go to Vjun!" Ben cried, standing up and blocking the door. That's where Snoke is! "What if we get captured? What if they take the twins when they're born?"

"It'll be fine- we have to go, Ben," she urged.

"How do you know?" he asked in desperation.

"I just do," she said fiercely. "Now you can take me, Ben, or I'll go on alone. I won't make Finn make the trip. Now what is your choice?"

He hesitated, but he knew that he had to protect her from the dangers he knew lay ahead on Vjun.

 _The greatest danger might just be yourself,_ a voice inside his head said,

"Get out of my way, Ben," Rey ordered, unclipping her lightsaber from the belt that hung right under her large belly.

He used the Force to freeze her where she stood.

"It's not a good idea, Rey," he protested.

She said nothing, and Ben realized with a start that she was fighting back. Within a minute, she'd overpowered him, and she angrily stormed out of the hut. Ben ran after her, and she turned around quite fast for a heavily pregnant woman.

"Are you going to fight me or help me?" she demanded.

"I'll help you," Ben finally agreed. "Come on, we are using my ship after all."

Rey softened a little, and they walked to the command shuttle and got in the cockpit. Ben entered the autopilot for the home base, and the ship took off in the darkness.


	16. Torn Apart

Once they'd gone into hyperspace and had punched in the coordinates, Rey had fallen asleep in the cockpit. Ben smiled at her, although he was worried about this. He didn't know why she thought it was worth it, risking everything she'd built- but he knew he had to let her.

 _But what if the voice becomes too overpowering?_

 _It won't,_ he told himself. To be honest, he wasn't convincing anyone.

They exited hyperspace and Ben nudged Rey awake in the Force. She sat up as straight as she could in the safety straps with her large belly, and began working the co-pilot controls, instinctively knowing what did what, even though the control panel was a sleek bunch of glowing buttons, very different from any ship she'd flown before.

"We'll land outside the Fortress-going to have to use a Force Shield to protect us from the acid rain," Ben explained as they began the descent onto the rocky terrain.

"Acid rain?" Rey asked. The only rain she'd known was wonderful, a welcome treasure compared to the dry desert of Jakku.

"Rain that will corrode skin-not good," Ben said quickly. "You do know how to use a Force Shield, right?"

Rey nodded, almost offended that he thought she might not. "I can handle myself."

"I know," he assured her as they landed down on the rocky terrain.

"Mmm," Rey said, not quite believing him but not wanting to argue right now when she was so close to finding her mother. She unstrapped herself and put up the shield around herself before she walked out. She unclipped her lightsaber and activated it as Ben followed from behind her. She'd only taken a few steps when the air rippled, revealing blue reptilian warriors a little shorter than Rey but carrying sickles.

Rey lifted her lightsaber, ready to fight, when Ben stepped out. The warriors relaxed at the sight of Ben.

"You have brought Kira Skywalker, we see," the leader of the warriors said in a hissing, accented voice. "You have done well, Kylo Ren. We will alert the Supreme Leader immediately."

 _YOU MUST FIND KIRA SKYWALKER._

 _YOU MUST FIND KIRA SKYWALKER._

 _YOU MUST FIND KIRA SKYWALKER._

Ben was incapacitated by the screaming voice in his head, and on a reflex not his own, before Rey could attack the warriors, he froze her. A warrior took Rey's lightsaber then and gave it to Ben.

He couldn't see Rey's face, but he didn't have to to know that she was furious. She hated him-and he hated himself for what he was doing.

"Ah, Kylo Ren," the Supreme Leader said over hologram. "I see you've done as I've asked. Must've been elusive. And she must be having children-with the traitor, no less."

"My children are Ben's as well, _Supreme Leader_ ," Rey said bitterly and mockingly. "I'm afraid you're not so good at reading minds through holos, are you?"

"Rey, please," Ben begged her, not wanting her to anger the Supreme Leader more than she already had- _they'll hurt her-my children-oh Force no-_

"I request we speak privately, my apprentice," Snoke said, looking disappointed. "Take her to one of the best cells we have. We simply cannot risk the possibility of more Force-sensitive children, can we?"

"I hate you," Rey snarled as the warriors apprehended her.

"I know," Ben said sadly.


	17. Everybody's Fool

Finn looked around, upset. He didn't search any longer around the Force Tree, for he sensed a very distraught Master Luke coming.

"Have you been able to find her?" he asked.

"I can't find her or Kyl-Ben," Finn said, quickly correcting himself. "Is his command shuttle gone?"

"Yes," Luke said. "Did you sense anything last night?"

"No," Finn said. The Force isn't my strong suit.

"Most troubling-I didn't either," Luke admitted. "I'm worried."

* * *

"I am very pleased, Kylo Ren," Snoke began. "You brought back Kira Skywalker- the scavenger, is she not-and with more potential Knights of Ren on their way. I sense a wavering in you, my apprentice."

"It is nothing," Ben said with the most ice he could manage as he fruitlessly tried to shield himself from the Supreme Leader.

"You still have compassion for her," Snoke pointed out accusingly. "Be wary of your feelings, Kylo Ren. I will be watching with caution."

"Of course, Supreme Leader," Ben said, a bit more bold than he would've been before. He left, hoping that he could talk to Rey and perhaps figure out a plan-or at least see what her security detail was composed of.

* * *

"Throw her in with the other Skywalker," one of the Imperial officers ordered. The warriors then led Rey forcibly down further and further into the labyrinth of the cells. She memorized each turn, or at least tried to so that maybe she could escape. They then stopped by a rather large cell. The leader of the warriors pressed open the door, and the woman inside lunged at the warriors, only to stop when they pushed Rey in.

"You monsters!" the woman shouted. "You'll pay for what you've done!"

The warriors paid no mind and several remained behind as guards. Rey sat down on the second cot that had lowered from the wall and the woman sat next to her. Rey got a good look at her.

The woman's hair was a lightened red, streaked with gray and perhaps white, and was clearly wrinkled and showing signs of age. The feral bright green eyes, the same color as Rey's, reversed the appearance of age.

"Are you alright?" the woman asked, looking concerned. "I can't believe my luck-this can't be happening-"

"I'm fine," Rey said cautiously.

"Oh thank the Force, Kira," the woman muttered.

"Kira?" Rey raised her eyebrows.

"A mother always does know," the woman said, arching her eyebrows in a smirking expression Rey had rarely worn.

"Mara? You're my mother?" Rey asked.

"I was Mara, long ago," she answered reminiscently. "Now I'm just your mother and Ben's aunt-the key to getting both of you, I feared. Turns out, I was right."

"What are you talking about?" Rey asked.

"You're here, and I always could sense that Ben had gone to the dark side," Mara said. "Then of course, there was you on Jakku. I hope Farmboy's done okay without me."

"Luke misses you, he misses you a lot," Rey said encouragingly. "If we can get out of here-"

"I assure you, we can't," Mara said harshly and bitterly, sounding like a woman much older than she was. "I've tried everything."

"Including the Force?" Rey raised her eyebrows.

"I've tried fighting my way out, but they catch you every time," Mara advised.

"This prison isn't going to hold me," Rey snarled. Maybe it was the hormones, but she wasn't going to let this happen any longer. She got up and waddled towards the energy field and pounded on it. She wanted the guards' attention first, if she could. She wanted them to feel her anger.

The warriors did indeed react by parting. . . For Ben.

Rey clenched her fists. He'd betrayed her. He'd turned her in, when she was about to have his children. She took a few steps back, pretending to be his sweet little wife. But as soon as the energy field behind her closed up, she attacked.

A whirlwind of fists and high-kicks, she had him doubled, and tackled him to the ground, using the Force to protect the twins. She punched him in the face, and sprang to her feet, only hearing the roar of her own heartbeat. She kicked him as he lay on the ground, once, twice-

"That's enough, Kira!" Mara pulled Rey away as Ben got to his feet slowly, one hand over his ribs, the other on his face. He closed his eyes and there was a hum in the air. Then he appeared more at comfort.

"Traitor," Rey snarled. "And to think, I loved you!"

He froze at those last three words. Rey found herself hesitating.

"I deserved that," he muttered. "And I never did deserve your love. I did what I had to do, Rey."

"You could've done more!" Rey shouted. "You could've defied him! You could've fought them! Yet you froze and gave in like the coward you are!"

"I knew this was a bad idea," Ben said, turning away.

"Because you planned to turn me in?" Rey demanded.

"No! Not- Not really. . . " Ben confessed. "It's complicated. . ."

"It's complicated? Doesn't seem too complicated to me-"

"Ben, is the Voice still in your head?" Mara asked, putting a hand up to stop Rey.

"Yes. I've met him," Ben admitted, looking like a child being scolded. Mara's eyes widened.

"You didn't! Ben, you know I told you that the Voice only gets stronger when you meet the source!" Mara cried. She then softened the slightest bit. "Between you and me, who is the creep?"

"Ben, what's she talking about?" Rey demanded, looking from her mother to her husband.

"It's the Supreme Leader," Ben said. "Rey-remember when I told you that the Supreme Leader's always in my head?"

"Yes. . ."

"He has the ability to command me to do something from even across the galaxy," Ben explained. "It's very difficult to resist."

He then looked to the Noghri. He then embraced Rey before she could do a thing. Ben then whispered a phrase in her ear that she'd never forget.

"I'll come back for you, sweetheart


	18. Lady Vader

"Do you think you can track it?" Finn asked Jysella.

"Of course I can!" the teenager cried, sounding offended. "First Order's still using the Empire's firewalls and kriffery-I could do this job in my sleep."

"Please don't," Finn said. "We need to find out what happened to them quickly. I'm going to go call Chewie. I want a full team to rescue them-I can just tell they're in trouble."

"Got it," Isolt said.

"Wait, most of you aren't even fully trained," Luke pointed out. "And they might be fine-"

"Then why didn't they leave a note?" Jysella asked as she kept staring at her screen and typing away.

"Maybe the twins-"

"Ren would leave a note for that," Finn said with a slight distaste in his voice.

* * *

Ben knew what he had to do. He hopped in his command shuttle and flew.

The shuttle went into hyperspace. He could only hope that the other Jedi would help him with breaking Mara and Rey out of prison.

 _This is all my fault-I never should've let her go. Or I should never have gone with her-should've asked Finn to go with her. She would've been fine without me._

 _I must make this right._

* * *

Rey kicked at the energy field.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Mara said, sounding bored at this point. "Besides, the Noghri are unbeatable."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Rey growled. She then concentrated, using the Force to unlock the door. The energy field fizzled out, and Rey leapt out, the Force shielding her babies as she shot emerald lightning out of her fingertips at the Noghri, the guards.

"Stop! Stop!" one wailed. Rey, for one dark moment, considered co9ntinuing. But she stopped, remembering her own suffering.

"We never wanted to harm the consort of the Ren'ary'ush!" the leader of the Noghri cried.

"Ren'ary'ush?" Rey asked, confused.

"The son of Vader," the leader Noghri said.

"He's no grandson by blood to Vader," Rey said. "I'm the granddaughter by blood."

"The Mal'ary'ush," the leader Noghri said reverently. "Daughter of the Savior. We have never had both Mal'ary'ush and Ren'ary'ush. Especially not two that were consorts to each other."

"Will you obey my commands, then?" Rey asked, more at ease now that she was sure the Noghri meant her no harm.

"To your very word, Lady Vader," said another Noghri warrior.

"Then lead us out," Rey ordered. "Me and my mother, in the name of the Mal'ary'ush."

"As you command," the leader Noghri said.


	19. Now or Never

"Got it!" Jysella cried, not protesting Mical Bridger's hands on her shoulders like she had before. "He's in hyperspace-was last on Vjun. Let me get the cameras."

"Vjun?" Finn frowned, remembering hearing stories about troopers who had gone to Vjun for specialized training and never came back. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

"It's worse," Jysella announced as Jynnifer gasped, her and Isolt struggling with each other to see the computer screen. "Ren's alone."

"Rey's gone?" Finn asked, immediately worried for his best friend. "Vjun has poisoned rain! It could hurt her or the twins! We've got to save them!"

"Who's going to do it?" Luke protested. "You can't all go."

"Yes we can," the group chorused.

At that moment, the _Millennium Falcon_ landed.

"That's Chewie," Finn announced. "Let's go-we can't wait."

The group boarded when Chewbacca let out a series of growls.

"What's he saying?" Finn asked.

"He's saying that there's a transmission from Ben," Isolt said, translating effortlessly. Indeed, Chewbacca pressed the replay button.

"This is Ben Solo-wait for me before you do anything-I know where Rey is and how to help her. Please wait!"

Jysella crossed her arms over her chest. "Who's to say this isn't a trap?"

"Trick us into thinking he's come to help, then he destroys us all," Mical explained.

"Some things never change," Isolt said with a sigh. "Ben certainly hasn't."

"We wait."

Everyone was surprised to hear that Finn had said it.

"I have no love for Kylo Ren," Finn said. "But I know he means it. This is Rey we're talking about. He'll come peacefully, especially if she's at stake."

There was a murmur, but the other Jedi decided to wait. Finn's confidence was reassuring-and Finn was good at this sort of thing.

* * *

The Noghri led Rey and Mara to their command ship.

"I've gotta give you credit, Kira, I never would've figured out that was why they followed Ben," Mara admitted as they strapped themselves in the passenger seats.

"Thanks," Rey said, brightening up at the praise. "I think I like being the Mal'ary'ush."

"You did know that you and Ben weren't related when. . . " Mara asked quietly.

"Yes!" Rey assured her very quickly. "I might not remember a lot before Jakku, but I do remember that you should ask if you're cousins."

"Well, that's good," Mara said haltingly. The Noghri took off and punched in the hyperspace coordinates. "I'm sorry about Jakku. Did Luke ever tell you what happened?"

"No," Rey admitted. "He said my captors must've been force-sensitive and Ben told me you disappeared looking for me."

"Then I should tell you what happened," Mara said. "You were eight years old at the time. You'd been kidnapped straight out of bed-how, I don't know. That's missing. But it was a year before I was able to figure out who."

"I was nine when I was on Jakku," Rey realized, lifting a hand to her head. "A whole year. . . It's missing."

Mara frowned, and looked as if fighting off tears. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"It's-who took me?" Rey asked. She had to know the truth.

"Dr. Aphra," Mara snarled. "I tracked her down, I was going to get it out of her, where she took you. But she got me. I made a few rookie mistakes."

"Why didn't you end up on Jakku?" Rey asked.

"My mind's near impenetrable, after the last command was done," Mara explained. "Also, it's always been personal between me and Aphra. She gloated when she put me in the cell, about how you wouldn't remember me or anyone. How you were lost forever on a backwater planet."

"Not forever," Rey said quietly.

"You're like Farmboy," Mara said, squeezing Rey's hand. "Being a backwater girl on a backwater planet only increases your chances."

"Huh," Rey murmured. "Thank you for telling me. . . Mum."

"Of course! You deserve the truth," Mara said with one of her few warm smiles.

There was a moment of silence.

"Kriff," Rey said slowly, attempting to look to the ground. "Kriffkriffkriff. . .Karabast!"

"Kira, what's wrong?" Mara asked, distressed.

"My water broke," Rey said in a small voice.

* * *

Ben landed and rushed out, where the crowd of Jedi were.

"Rey's in the prison in Vjun-we have to rescue her," he said.

"How'd she end up in Vjun?" Finn demanded.

"I found her mother in the prisons there," Ben explained as he approached. "We tried to get Mara, but she got captured and it's all my fault-I can't lose her-you have to help me."

The two men stood, looking each other over.

"For Rey," Finn said, offering his hand to Ben.

"For Rey," Ben agreed.


	20. Losing Grip

"Tell Ben," Rey pleaded as the Noghri tried to find a quicker stop-like an asteroid belt. "Get him on the holo."

"Are you sure?" Mara asked.

"Of course I'm sure!" Rey snapped. "He wouldn't want to miss this!"

"Fine," Mara said as she walked to the cockpit to get a holo transmission device.

* * *

On the _Millennium Falcon_ , they were already halfway to Vjun with the unique mapping system. There was a blinking light of a transmission. Sensing that it was important, Ben tapped it.

Immediately, a blue holo projection of Rey appeared. She appeared to be on a bed somewhere and looked quite sweaty.

"Ben," she said between heavy breaths, "I'm in labor."

"Really?" Ben asked. "Where are you, Rey?"

"I'm on a Noghri command ship," she explained. "Trying to-get away-"

"RED ALERT! WE'RE BEING BOARDED!"

Rey looked over, worried at the shouts.

"It's the _Ark Angel_!" Mara shouted. "It's being used by-"

"Ben, the you have to-"

The transmission fizzled out. Ben pounded the transmission screen, but the damage had been done.

"We have to rescue her," Ben said. "I know who that was. She'll take her back to Vjun."

In one moment, he reached out to Rey in the Force, clinging to the faintest trace of her Force signature. He felt hers clinging to his, and from that a bond formed. They were connected. Ben almost fell over as the contractions seized him and he tried to send her his best assurances. He could only hope that it would be enough, just so he could know, so he could know. . .

* * *

The ship landed quickly on Vjun and Ben led the charge. He was an unstoppable force, throwing all who stood in his away aside with the Force or throwing him as the others reflected bullets, following Ben and Finn. Ben charged the throne room where Snoke stood.

"I should have known," Snoke snarled as he stood. "You're throwing everything away, Kylo Ren-and for what? Some girl who seduced you? She is preventing you from being more than a Skywalker ever could be!"

"She helped me see the light," Ben said. "I will not be swayed!"

"All of this for a dead girl. . . " Snoke mused.

"What?" Ben's blood went cold. He suddenly realized he couldn't sense Rey.

"She died when the _Ark Angel_ attacked the traitor ship," Snoke said. "Your children are mine. Their mother and your aunt are gone. It's all over for you."

"NO!" Ben screamed.


	21. American Pie

"You know the truth," Snoke said, relishing Ben's pain. "She is gone-give it up. You can raise your children as Knights of Ren. You will be more than a Skywalker. Don't be a fool, Kylo Ren."

"You killed her!" Ben shouted, but before he could activate his lightsaber, he heard more of the commands, so strong he couldn't do anything but obey.

 _KNEEL. REMEMBER._

Painful memories danced in front of his eyes.

* * *

He was a small boy clinging to Leia's white dress, looking up shyly at the scarred man. The scarred man gave him a creepy smile, and Leia snapped at him, handing him to Han and warning him about the scarred man.

* * *

He was seven years old in bed, and had yet another nightmare. Han held him close, promising that nothing would happen to him. Leia continued to sleep, exhausted from another day at the Senate.

"You're mine, even if not by blood."

* * *

He was ten years old, and Han, Leia, and Uncle Luke had ushered him into the sterile hospital room. Inside, Aunt Mara was cradling a tiny baby. Leia pushed him forward gently, and he walked up to Aunt Mara's bedside.

"This is your cousin," Aunt Mara explained as she smiled at Ben and the baby. "Kira Raeh Skywalker."

* * *

He was fifteen years old and his mother and father were seeing him off in front of the Jade Sabre, the shuttle for the Praxeum.

"Be good now, you promise?" Leia commanded.

"I promise," he said.

"Go be a Jedi-make your old man proud," Han said, looking tearful for once in his life. "Go have an adventure."

* * *

He was still fifteen, aggressively trying to master blocking blaster bolts. He heard a giggle and turned to see a girl of five who looked like his aunt and uncle standing there.

"What do you want?" he demanded gruffly.

The girl backed away.

"No, no, what do you want?"

"Mommy wants you," she said. "You're my cousin, Ben, right?"

"Oh. You're Kira Raeh!" he realized. He knelt down to her level. "Sorry I snapped at you."

* * *

He was eighteen years old, and stared out into the jungles, sensing the disturbance. Too late, he realized what was missing and saw the ship fly away.

"KIRA!" he screamed, even though he knew she couldn't hear him.

* * *

He was twenty-three years old and standing in front of the source of the voices in the dry heat of Korriban. This wasn't what he wanted.

"No, no, no!"

The next thing he remembered was standing in the rain, bodies around him and his unstable lightsaber lit.

"What have I done?"

* * *

He was twenty-nine years old, sitting in a lower-level bar with Rey, his Kira Rey. He never thought he'd see her again.

"Let's pretend that we never met. That I was a completely different man buying a completely different beautiful young woman a drink. Which one do you want?"

* * *

The memories were painful in how he'd thrown everything away, how he'd caved into the doubts that he knew weren't true. Han and Leia, but especially Han, did love him as if he were theirs by blood. Luke did care about what happened to him. Mara was right about the voices. Rey was the love and light of his life.

Inspired by the power of these loves, he finally had the strength to break free of the commands. He saw the others, writhing as prisoners of their own device, and he struggled with Snoke, fighting the screaming in his head.

"This is for Rey!" he shouted as he plunged the lightsaber into Snoke's heart.

The man fell to the ground, looking like he was just a man. His dry, scarred hand reached for Ben's face.

"And so is the way of the Sith, my apprentice," Snoke whispered, and then he went limp.

The voice in Ben's head was gone and everyone was free. Ben was about to go try to find Rey, thinking he felt the slightest bit of her presence, when he heard the infamous crack of a light-whip.

Everyone dived out of the way as a tan woman wearing a suit of heavy armor approached.

"Lumiya," Ben snarled. "You killed her!"

"I did-I see you've grown soft, Ren," Lumiya said, her voice a sultry purr. "I'll have your head too-and then I will be the Empress-something even Darth Vader couldn't dream of becoming.

Ben and Finn exchanged a look, and they ran at her, holding their lightsabers aloft. The two men and the other students melded together in the Force, and they attacked.

They anticipated every attack, as several students snagged the whip on their lightsaber, while dancing around her and attempting to get in for the kill.

They managed to snag the whip out of her hand, and it clattered to the floor and died. Ben held the trisaber to Lumiya's throat.

"Tell me why I shouldn't avenge her right now," Ben snarled, feeling the darkness circle in him.

"Is that anyway to treat your mother?" Lumiya scolded.

Ben hesitated. She took advantage of this, and lightning sprang from her fingertips. Ben and several others in the room found themselves screaming and writhing in pain.

Before he blacked out, however, he saw a blue blade turn on in midair and stab Lumiya in the back.


	22. Almost Paradise

"Ben? Ben?"

His eyes opened, and he blinked, repealing his fuzzy vision. He was in a sterile white hospital. But where?

"Ben?"

He sat up, everything aching as he looked for the source of the voice. No one was there except for the other Jedi in the room, all still knocked out.

"Rey?" he called, recognizing the voice.

"Ma'am, let him rest-you need to rest-"

"I will see my husband, dammit!" the door was Force-pushed open and in barged Rey, whose eyes locked onto his immediately. He ripped out the wires and cords and they both sprinted for each other, catching each other in their embrace in the Force and the physical world.

"I thought you were dead."

"I thought she was going to kill you," she replied.

"That was you?" he cried, remembering the lightsaber flying through the air.

"Yes," she said with a smirk.

"I love you so much."

"I know."

The two fell into a kiss.

* * *

It was later when Ben found out all that had happened. With the main mastermind of the First Order dead, they were retreating to the Outer Rim of the Galaxy. The Resistance had taken Vjun for the New Republic upon Luke's call.

Ben met his two children.

"Jacen for the boy, Jaina for the girl," Rey had said, a choice he agreed with. He wouldn't give their child an impossible legacy. They could build their own names.

He also discovered through Mara that what Lumiya had told him before her death was true.

"She was Dr. Aphra, your mother once," Mara had explained. "Han and Leia managed to take you away from her. They wanted you to be more than what Aphra would've raised you to be."

Ben decided to remain Ben Solo-his memories of Han had finally reminded him of what was important. Well, he was Ben Skywalker-Solo. They decided to have a completely legal ceremony. It was grand and attended as a symbol of the end of the decades-long war.

In another year and a half, they had another son. Han, they called him. All three children were Jedi under Luke. Finn and Poe were their doting uncles, as were most of the Jedi Order. Mara, Luke, and Leia were all happily reunited.

Ben had taken charge of the remaining Knights of Ren and most of the First Order, becoming their respresentative in the New Republic. Rey became the Battlemaster of the Jedi Order, their best warrior in both the Force and with a lightsaber.

Their marriage was a bickering, but happy ever after, no longer drinking alone.


End file.
